Choosing Fate
by ThisIsNotAboutLove
Summary: Lily finds herself unexpectedly falling for Remus Lupin, the resident nice guy Marauder, but when dire circumstances arise she may be forced to choose another path.
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1:**

That look. She'd seen that look before. It was the same look that Frank Longbottom gave her last year before offering her a box of chocolates for Valentine's Day. It was that pained look of a friend who wanted so badly to be more than just that. It was sweet and flattering, really. His hazel eyes lit up with that intense adoration which emanates only from a person who is truly in love. Much to her dismay, Lily's heartbeat quickened ever so slightly as her own eyes gazed back into his. That look was a dangerous look. It was a look years in coming. James had been claiming he felt some sort of affection for Lily for years, but it had always been so easy to dismiss. James Potter was hardly ever serious. Lily had just arrived at Platform 9 3/4, her heavy trunk dragging awkwardly behind her. James, upon seeing her struggle with her obviously overfilled trunk, rushed to help her load it into a compartment. He'd done all of this without a word. It wasn't until after he'd loaded the trunk that he'd stop and turned to face her. He allowed himself to stare into her startlingly green eyes, and with that look he had unwittingly betrayed the true vulnerability of his feelings. It was in that moment that Lily realized he was sincere. That realization shook her core beliefs about James Potter, and she couldn't help but be taken aback by it.

"Err--how was your summer, James?" she questioned awkwardly, brushing several strands of long, red hair out of her eyes. James looked at her in response with a startled gaze.

"You called me James," he declared in amazement. "You're going soft, Evans." Lily returned his gaze unblinkingly.

"Yeah, well--I just figured--since we're Head Boy and Girl now, it's only proper that we at least show each other respect," Lily responded uneasily. "I still can't believe Dippet made you Head Boy," Lily muttered half to herself.

"You know what that means?" James asked with a suggestive lift of his brow.

"What?" Lily questioned suspiciously.

"You and me on late night duty, patrolling the halls," James offered with a wink and an impish grin.

"Ugh. Can't you ever be normal?" Lily demanded with a skyward roll of her emerald eyes.

"I'm afraid it's not in my genetic code, Lily darling," James responded solemnly. "I blame my parents."

"You know, for a minute, I thought maybe you'd grown up a bit over the summer. I thought maybe you'd matured enough to actually be able to handle Head Boy responsibilities. I see I was very much mistaken," Lily spat as she turned away from James, forgetting quickly the deep emotion he'd displayed just moments before with his telling look.

"Ouch, Evans. Ouch," James responded, holding his hand over his heart.

"The name's Lily," she asserted before walking away. Lily was more than a tiny bit frustrated with this whole situation. She thought Headmaster Dippet quite out of his mind for having made James Potter of all people in the world Head Boy at Hogwarts. Everyone knew that James, ringleader of the Marauders, was the root of most trouble to begin with at the school. How could he be trusted to be responsible and keep his cohorts from committing heinous acts? And that look, where on earth had that come from? Sure, James always liked to joke about being in love with her, but she'd never for a moment seriously entertained the idea of it all. It was absolutely ridiculous. She didn't need to worry about these feelings of his being real and therefore having to protect him from being hurt. Lily uttered a frustrated groan as she came upon a friend of hers. "Lily! How was your summer?" a handsome sandy-brown haired boy asked. Lily couldn't help but allow a grin to break upon her lips at the sight of him.

"Hi, Remus. My summer was fantastic, thanks. How are you doing?" she asked as she swept him into a hug. Remus grinned at this action and allowed himself to exhale deeply as he held her briefly in his arms.

"I'm doing just wonderfully, Lily," he responded as she released him.

"You should have been Head Boy!" Lily exclaimed suddenly with a rather sullen look. Remus let out a hearty chuckle as he allowed himself to glance over in James's general direction.

"He'll do a good job, Lily," Remus promised. "He only shaped up enough to be Head Boy in the first place to impress you. He's not going to blow his opportunity now."

"What opportunity?" Lily questioned warily.

"His opportunity to impress you," Remus stated simply.

"Now come be a good Head Girl and sit in our compartment with us," he continued with a persuasive smile. Lily, quite honestly, found it rather difficult to say no to Remus. His deep blue eyes shot her a pleading look and she found herself nodding unconsciously in response.

"Fine," she agreed grudgingly, straightening her robes and hair.

"No need to primp. James always thinks you look beautiful," Remus pointed out with a strange look upon his face. "We all do," he added quietly as he turned away.

"I'm far from beautiful," Lily replied under her breath with a grimace. Remus spun immediately to face her.

"Lily, if there's one thing in the world that you are—it's beautiful. Both inside and out," Remus declared adamantly with a meaningful look aimed at Lily. She regarded him with surprise, nervously playing with a strand of her deep red hair.

"Well, thank you, Remus," she returned awkwardly as she followed him onto the train.

He led her down a hallway towards a compartment near the rear of the train. He quickly slid the door open to reveal James, Sirius, and Peter laughing boisterously together over a book opened in Sirius's lap. Remus cleared his throat sternly and three guilty faces quickly snapped to attention. James reached down instantly to eagerly close the open book. He then fixed Lily with a wide-eyed look of innocence.

"What are you three up to?" Lily questioned instantly, taking a stride in their direction.

"Evans! I'm so glad you came to join us!" James declared with a disarming grin as he passed his hand purposely through his already messy black hair.

"Well, I hardly wanted to, but Remus here…"

"I told her how much you'd love to have your, umm, colleague with us," Remus finished for her, tossing James an explanatory look. James glanced suspiciously at Remus before turning his eyes to Lily with a pleased look.

"Glad you're here, Evans, dear."

"Sure, fine. Look, I think it's only fair warning that I tell you all that you four cannot possibly continue on with your juvenile pranks this year. I will not allow it to happen while I'm Head Girl, and don't think that simply because your little ringleader is Head Boy means that you all get special privileges," Lily lectured.

"Bravo," Sirius proclaimed as he saluted Lily. "Well, you've certainly got me convinced. I'll be a reformed man."

"That's very likely, I'm sure," Lily replied with a disdainful snort. "Now what is it exactly that you three are looking at with such great interest?" Lily extended her hand out to reach for the book, but before she could confiscate it from them, James clasped her hand in his own and shot her an overly dramatic look.

"Lily, darling, I didn't know you cared that much! How sweet that you want to hold my hand." As James kept Lily's hand clamped tightly within his own, Sirius stood up quickly, threw the book down on his seat, and sat on top of it.

"What are you hiding!" Lily tore her hand away from James and turned her full attention to Sirius.

"Lily, I have absolutely no idea what you're talking about," Sirius replied nonchalantly. "I'm not hiding a thing." Lily gave a deep sigh as she rolled her eyes.

"Fine. As long as you're not planning on murdering anyone, I guess it's not absolutely necessary that I found out what that book contains right now." Lily paused for a moment, obviously deep in thought as she played with a strand of her deep red hair. "Uh, just for the record..."

"Lily, darling, we promise there will be no body bags involved," James cut in with a grin. "Now have a seat! You look tense, let me give you a massage." Lily shot James a look of death.

"Touch me and die."

"Does this mean our date's cancelled tonight?" Lily chose to ignore James as she sat down as far as possible from James and turned to talk to Remus.

"Well then, Remus, the only sane person in this compartment aside from me, how are you?"

The train ride to Hogwarts passed fairly quickly as Lily used the time to catch up with Remus. However, she couldn't help but notice that Remus kept giving James sideward glances as he filled her in on his summer activities. Once in a while, James threw in some snide remark and engaged Lily in conversation briefly, but it never lasted more than a few minutes. Lily made a conscious effort not to be quite as mean as she had previously been to James, for the sake of their working relationship, and possibly his feelings. So when he did try his occasional conversation starter, Lily tried very hard not to immediately tell him to shut up.

"Land ahoy!" Sirius exclaimed as the train chugged slowly up to Hogsmeade. "Let another year begin!"

"Let's hope this year you actually manage to behave, too," Lily muttered under her breath.

"I wouldn't count on it," Sirius responded with a mischievous grin. "You know how the ladies like the rebels." Lily narrowed her eyes at him as she let a sneer develop on her lips.

"Children, children, play nice!" James's eyes glinted as he began to gather up his belongings. "Lily and I are going to make sure that everyone does behave this year. That's why we're going to have weekly strategic planning dates. Each Friday night we're going to eat dinner together and then sit by the fire for hours on end and plan our defense tactics. And Lily will have to hold my hand, because I'll be frightened by all the wrong-doing occurring all around us at Hogwarts. How can children with such promise go down the wrong path so quickly? It's a shame. All that wasted potential just makes me so sad. Lily…hold me." James lunged towards Lily who took a very swift step backwards. She immediately grabbed her heavy chest with a grunt and began to heave it away as she shot a reproachful look over her shoulder at James.  
"Clearly, she's looking forward to it," James stated confidently to Sirius, who nodded in enthusiastic agreement.

"You scare her to death, I hope you know," Remus scolded James as he rushed out the door after Lily.

"What's his problem?" James's brow furrowed slightly as he ran his hand through his mess of hair.

"You know Lupin, he's just a little tightly wound," Sirius offered with a sympathetic grin.

"Do you think he..."

"No, James, no. He doesn't. He wouldn't."

"What are you guys talking about?" Peter chimed in suddenly, oblivious as usual.

"But he always talks to her," James continued on, ignoring Peter entirely.

"They're just friends," Sirius offered with a shrug. James grabbed his trunk with a little more force than necessary.

"Friends...right."

"Lily, wait!" Remus chased after her as she rushed down the aisle of the train. "James is just kidding. He doesn't know it might make you uncomfortable."

"James is a jerk," Lily called out over her shoulder. "An arrogant jerk. He doesn't make me uncomfortable, he just constantly reminds me how stupid he is." Remus caught up to Lily as she began to make her way down the platform at the train station and tore her trunk from her grasp.

"It's heavy, Lil, let me take that," Remus muttered as he took control of the trunk. Lily stopped for a moment and looked at Remus. His sandy brown hair had fallen into his eyes obscuring his current expression.

"Hey, Remus," Lily began softly.

"Yeah?"

"Thanks." Lily reached out hesitantly and brushed some of his hair from his face gently so she could see his eyes. Remus looked at her with amazement as his cheeks began to glow like embers in the fire.

"Y-you're welcome," he stuttered as he turned his eyes away.

"Aw, Remus, always the gentleman," James stated almost coldly as he approached from behind Remus. "I can take that, don't strain yourself," he added as he grabbed Lily's trunk from Remus. Lily shot James a reproachful look, but deciding she'd rather not argue with him, she simply hopped into the next available carriage and ignored James completely, leaving both James and Remus behind.

"James, I was just trying to smooth things over for you and give her a hand with her trunk," Remus began to explain hurriedly. James raised his eyebrows slightly and shot Remus an appraising look. He sighed heavily and for a moment seemed deeply lost in thought.

"Thanks, Moony," James replied after a while, a smile creeping onto his face. James hopped into a carriage, leaving Remus behind on the platform looking slightly stunned. Sirius hopped right in after James and shut the door behind him leaving Peter behind looking dull and confused as usual.

"Prongs, I'm all for being humane and all, but what was with the nice-guy act with Remus?" Sirius leaned forward curiously as James gazed out the window, refusing to meet his eyes.

"I can't help who she fancies. If it isn't me, then it isn't me," James responded wistfully. "At least she'll be happy," he added softly.

"Wow. I must say, you've really got it bad for this Lily Evans. Does this mean you're giving up on her?"

"No. I can't just give up on her. Not until I see that she's completely head over heels for Remus. When I have proof of that, I'll leave her alone."

Lily shifted uncomfortably in her seat as she gazed absent-mindedly out the window.

"I saw you were sort of cozy back there with Remus, Lily. "

"He was just helping me with my trunk, Alice," Lily responded carelessly as she gave her friend a brief sideward glance.

"Lily, please, he treats you wonderfully. You really should give him a chance you know," Alice urged with a warm smile.

"Alice, not everyone can be as happy as you and Frank are," Lily replied with a knowing laugh. "He'd follow you to the end of the earth and back three times over." Alice blushed slightly at this but her smile spread wider across her face.

"Everyone deserves a Frank."

"Oh, indeed they do," Lily replied kindly.

"But, honestly, Lily, about Remus," Alice began in a motherly tone, her intense gray eyes shining with concern.

"Alice!" Lily groaned and rolled her eyes. "I get it! You think Remus and I should give it a go. Honestly though, Alice, I'm not even sure he likes me." Lily sighed and pulled uneasily on the sleeves of her robes.

"And you? How do you feel about him?" Alice gazed intently at Lily, awaiting her answer.

"Alice, I don't know!" Lily laughed as she ran her fingers through her deep red hair.

"Hmm, well, you might want to figure that out, Lily."

"I'll work it out, Alice. Don't worry." Lily looked away from Alice and pressed her lips together, a bright shade of red overcoming her cheeks as she thought about the look Remus gave her after she'd brushed the hair from his eyes.

"I think I already know the answer," Alice responded with a smirk. The carriage came to a stop at the main doors to Hogwarts and both girls got out of the carriage and entered the Great Hall. Every five minutes, Alice shot Lily another knowing glance and nodded wisely.

"Alice, stop looking at me like that! Like I've just told you some big secret."

"Oh, you didn't have to tell me. I can see it in your eyes."

"See what in her eyes?" A voice asked from behind Lily and Alice, who had by this time made their way to the Gryffindor tables.

"Oh, well, clearly Lily's got feelings for—"

"Treacle tarts, I'm obsessed with treacle tarts," Lily finished quickly as she turned around to see who would be so nosy. "Oh, James, of course," Lily added aloud as a mop of messy black hair came into her line of vision. Lily slumped down onto the bench in front of her with a sigh of exasperation.

"I'm glad you're so happy to see me again, Evans," James returned easily. "Don't you think the head boy and girl ought to sit next to each other during meals? You know, to show our solidarity?" James gave Lily an exaggerated wink as he squeezed onto the bench beside her.

"I actually don't think that, no. In fact I think there's more power in separation. So why don't you go sit as far away from me as possible, Potter?" Lily suggested flatly.

"Evans, you're losing your touch. You could at least have added in some remark about how foul I smell or how brainless I am. I'm really quite disappointed. That's not the girl I fell for."

"Potter, as much as I'd absolutely love to watch after you every moment to make sure you're behaving, I don't have time to baby sit you this year. So you're going to have to be a big boy and behave like a grown-up, okay?" Lily patted James on the head patronizingly and ruffled his hair a bit.

"Oh, Evans, you know just the way I like my hair. You notice all the little details. That's how I know you really care," James cooed affectionately as he scooted closer to Lily on the bench.

"Please don't make me vomit, Potter. I hear it's not appetizing." As Lily and James had been bantering back and forth, Sirius, Peter, and Remus had caught up and were now seated across from them at the table.

"Oh, will you two just put a sock in it and admit you've got it bad for each other?" Sirius demanded with a mischievous grin. "It can't be healthy to keep your true feelings bottled up inside for so long."

"The only thing James Potter makes me feel is nauseous," Lily replied with disgust.

"Aw, isn't that sweet? I give her butterflies!" James exclaimed excitedly. Peter and Sirius laughed appreciatively, but Lily realized suddenly that Remus was sitting in complete silence, a sullen look on his face as he stared blankly at the table in front of him. James continued laughing at his own joke until he noticed Lily's look of disgust had turned to a look of concern. "Evans, you're supposed to insult me back. That's just the way it works."

"Hmm? Oh, sorry," Lily replied distractedly, her eyes still on Remus.

"Okay, everyone shut up now. Headmaster Dippet's about to speak," Alice commanded forcefully as she cast a stern look at the entire group. Headmaster Dippet stood at the front of the Great Hall and raised his hands to demand silence. A hush feel immediately over the Great Hall. 

"Welcome back, students. I hope that this year will be a wonderful year for us all. However, first and foremost, as you probably all have suspected, there will be much stricter security at Hogwarts. This is in light of recent events, which I'm positive you're all aware of. Lily looked around the room at this point and saw many somber faces looking worriedly back at Dippet, with the obvious exception of the Slytherin students. At the Slytherin tables, eager looks and smirks were readily exchanged by many students as Dippet continued his speech about the uprising that was currently occurring.

"Look at those insensitive idiots," Lily whispered to Alice as she nodded her head in the general direction of the Slytherin tables. Alice turned her head to follow Lily's gaze and her lips turned downward in disgust.

"Those stupid purebreds think they're so great. Well, I've got news for them, that much inbreeding makes them all a bit loopy in the head," Alice spat bitterly. Dippet continued his speech very solemnly and then conducted the sorting ceremony as was the yearly tradition. After the ceremony had ended, and all of the students' stomachs were growling hungrily, Dippet rambled on still absent-mindedly about how important it was to keep a well-balanced diet. Eventually, he sensed that the entire hall, staff included, was becoming very restless.

"And now, finally, to introduce this year's new Head Boy and Girl," Dippet announced ceremoniously. "Miss Lily Evans and Mr. James Potter." Lily and James rose to their feet awkwardly as everyone in the Great Hall applauded appreciatively, except of course for the Slytherins. James slipped his arm around Lily's shoulders and pumped his fist triumphantly in the air. Lily took this opportunity to slap James and take her seat once more, which of course brought on even more applause and cheering as James skillfully milked the whole incident for much more than it was worth by doubling over in exaggerated pain.

"Yes, yes, Mr. Potter, that will do," Dippet scolded from the front of the hall, at which point he launched into another speech about the importance of keeping ones robes clean and well-pressed. Eventually, Professor Dumbledore stood up, smiling good-naturedly, and whispered something briefly in Headmaster Dippet's ear.

"Ah, I see. Well then! I've been informed that it's getting late and you're all very hungry! And so, let the feast begin," Dippet announced in a jolly tone. There was a collective sigh of relief that echoed throughout the Great Hall as food finally appeared in mass quantities on each table.

James piled vast amounts of food greedily onto his plate with great vigor while the rest of the table stared at him, mouths wide open with shock.

"Uhh, James, if it all possible, dear lad, could you leave some food for the rest of the starving children?" Sirius made his request with an impish smile. James looked up suddenly and froze halfway through adding another heaping mound of potatoes to his already full plate. He gave a suave chuckle as he gently replaced the potatoes back in the serving dish and nodded his head.

"Of course, of course. But you do know that dinnertime is survival of the fittest, don't you?"

"Well then, you're bound to lose," Lily muttered as she tore the bowl of potatoes away from James, who looked completely unfazed by her comment.

"So, Evans, what courses are you taking this year?" James questioned casually in what could clearly be construed as a desperate attempt at changing the topic.

"Whatever you're not taking," Lily replied cheerfully as she began to eat heartily from her plate. James glanced at her momentarily, one eyebrow raised.

"Play nice, Evans," he added with a half-serious look.

"No, really, Lily, which classes are you taking? I want to know if you're in any of mine," Remus questioned eagerly from across the table. Alice elbowed Lily hard in the side and stifled a giggle. Lily, in turn, gave her an annoyed look as she flipped her long red hair over her shoulder.

"I don't want to say out loud, Remus. I wouldn't want to ruin my dreams of having a completely Potter-free schedule." Remus laughed loudly at this remark, which earned him a glare from James's general direction.

"Luckily for me, my pet, you can't avoid me this year. In fact, I imagine we'll be spending inordinate amounts of time together patrolling the hallways, having impromptu meetings in impromptu places," James stopped here and winked for dramatic effect. Just as Lily was about to reply with a disgusted remark, Severus Snape strolled by the Gryffindor table and casually dumped a goblet of pumpkin juice on top of Lily's head.

"Oops, sorry. It slipped," Severus explained with a sneer. James and Remus were both at once immediately on their feet.

"How dare you?" Remus questioned menacingly. James simply gave an animal-like growl as he violently slapped the goblet out of Severus's hands and watched it shatter on the ground.

"Don't ever come near her. Ever," James snarled.

"Aww, is big bad Potter going to protect defenseless little Lily?" Severus questioned in a childish tone. Lily rolled her eyes as she wiped the excess juice from her hair and resumed eating her food as she mumbled something under her breath that sounded suspiciously like "boys."

"Ten points from Slytherin!" James shouted with a triumphant look.

"For what!" Severus demanded.

"Careless conduct," James returned with ease.

"And also for being a greasy git," Sirius added helpfully. Severus looked as though he were about to argue the deduction, but decided not to at the last moment.

"I'll get even," Severus threatened.

"Go ahead and try," Sirius answered nonchalantly. Severus narrowed his eyes angrily as she stalked back towards the Slytherin table. Both Remus and James returned to their respective benches, looks of fury etched on their faces.

"Good job, boys," Alice called out with a smile. Remus looked rather sheepish at this approving statement as he was usually so calm and mild-mannered that being angry rather bothered him. James, however, looked to Lily for approval.

"You're an idiot," she stated simply, not lifting her eyes from her plate. "But, I must say, you did handle that rather well without losing your temper and hexing him. Maybe it won't be the absolute most awful thing in the world for you to be Head Boy," Lily added slowly. "Perhaps just the second most awful thing." James took this as the most highly-paid compliment and beamed uncontrollably throughout the rest of dinner as he chattered cheerfully with the rest of the table as though he were a normal person.

After everyone had eaten until they could no longer even entertain the thought of taking another bite, everyone shuffled towards their respective dormitories, led by the Prefects. Alice grabbed Lily's arm as soon as they were out of the Marauder's hearing range.

"You'd better thank Remus for sticking up for you," Alice whispered with an encouraging smile.

"Look, Cupid, I haven't even got time for love this year. It's our seventh year! I've got plenty of other things to worry about other than if my new beau's going to break up with me in the middle of the Great Hall after he's had a bad experience with that morning's eggs. I'm not the girlfriend type anyway. I hardly care at all about my appearance, and I'm not one to hang all over a guy just because someone's decided to label us Hogwart's newest 'it' couple," Lily explained with exasperation. "It's just not in the cards, Alice. Let it die."

"Sounds like you're trying to convince yourself, Lily," Alice replied smugly. "I happen to think you and Remus would make a wonderful couple."

"Ooooooooh, Lily and Remus!" a voice chimed in excitedly. "You two would be totally awesome together!"

"Umm, thanks. Do I know you?" Lily asked the pert looking little blond who seemed so excited about Lily's future prospects.

"Duh, of course. We've only been in classes together for seven years," the girl responded with a disapproving look.

"Right…" Lily looked rather uncomfortable.

"My name's Constance!" The blond half-shouted with annoyance. "Constance Spire. And I think you and Remus would be wonderful together. I've thought it for over a year now."

"Well, umm…Constance, thank you for your opinion, but as I was just saying, I'm really not the girlfriend type."

"Well that's just the stupidest thing I've ever heard," Constance stated bluntly. Lily's mouth hung open a bit in shock. She was formulating a quick-witted reply to Constance's blatant rudeness when Remus suddenly interrupted her thought process.

"Hey, Lily, I'm sorry for getting so upset earlier…a-about Sirius," Remus muttered quietly, hanging his head in shame. Both Constance and Alice shot Lily an urgent look before they hurried off towards the front of the group. Lily turned to Remus awkwardly and smiled.

"No, Remus, thank you for standing up to him for me," she replied softly. "I appreciate it." Remus glanced at her with surprise.

"Oh, oh, well then…you're welcome, Lily," he said with a broad smile, his whole face lighting up. "I just thought that since you yelled at James you might be mad at me as well," he continued on. Lily couldn't help but let a smile play briefly upon her lips. She stopped suddenly and grabbed Remus's hand, stopping him as well.

"Remus," Lily paused briefly as she gazed into his eyes, trying desperately to catch some sort of confirmation of her suspicions about his feelings for her. Remus stared back steadily, his eyes filled with what Lily could only assume was at least intense fondness. "Remus, I could never be mad at _you_," Lily finished as she gave his hand a quick squeeze. "You're one of my best friends." Remus cringed slightly at the word "friend," but quickly recovered and smiled graciously.

"You're one of my best friends, too, Lily," he returned softly. Lily smiled back at him affectionately as she threw her arms around him instantaneously.

"Remus, we just had a moment! A best friend moment!" Lily exclaimed. "We bonded!" Remus laughed awkwardly at her sudden outburst.

"Oh, I'm sorry! I just ruined the moment, didn't I!" Lily released Remus as she blushed a shade of scarlet almost deep enough to match her hair.

"Lily, there are some things you don't know about me," Remus muttered under his breath.

"What?" Lily questioned with an arched brow.

"N-nothing. Um, let's get upstairs and get some sleep," he concluded as they walked through the portrait hole into their common room.

"My, my, how presumptuous! Remus, I didn't think you were the type to be so forward!" Sirius exclaimed from a nearby couch, James at his side. "You and Lily are going straight up to bed, hmm?"

"Stuff it, Sirius," Lily shot back at him with a look of disgust. "I'll see everyone tomorrow. Though, hopefully not _you_," she added with a sneer in James's direction.

"Goodnight, my love! Dream of me!" James called after her with a suggestive wink.

"I'd rather choke on my own spit and die!" Lily called back sweetly. Sirius and Remus laughed jovially at her quick return. James simply smiled, clasping his hand to his heart.

"That's the girl for me, my friends. She's the one."

"James," Remus began cautiously, "you actually sound sincere."

"I am! She's perfect," he replied, still grinning. "She's just got such—such spirit, I guess. Spunk, or liveliness or something like that. You know, that thing that makes girls agreeable."

"So eloquently stated," Sirius proclaimed, wiping a pretend tear away from his eye. "James, you're going soft on us, my friend. And I, personally, will hate you forever if you begin a committed relationship with a girl and act all devoted-boyfriend-like. So I hope for all of our sakes that Lily Evans has hateful burning feeling directed towards you for the remainder of our natural lives."

"Noted. Now then, Sirius, who's your prey of the year? Which poor, young, unsuspecting girl will fall victim to your hopelessly good looks and boyish charm?" Remus questioned in an obvious attempt to change the subject.

"Well, actually," Sirius began effortlessly, "I believe this year I may switch to victim of the month, because I found that destroying the spirit of just one girl a year just wasn't enough of a challenge for me any longer."

"How gentlemanly of you," James offered.

"Precisely," Sirius returned with an unnaturally wide grin. His eyes suddenly locked in on something and he snapped to attention, striking a very masculine pose and stretching his smile even further to the point of discomfort. "Don't look now, boys," he managed to utter through his tightly clamped teeth, but here comes the first item of the month." Remus and James swung their heads around immediately to stare conspicuously at the perky blond girl who was fast approaching the trio, a coy smile on her lips.

"Hi!" She greeted the three of them very excitedly, blinking her extremely blue eyes at a very rapid pace. "How was your summer?"

"It was absolutely splendid!" Sirius began animatedly. "I did a bit of traveling, you know, just here and there, and I spent a lot of time with my mother. We're so close. I'm her little pride and joy, you know. She says it's because I'm just so sensitive. She goes on and on about me," he continued eagerly. He paused for a moment, expecting an appreciative nod from his audience.

"That's nice," the girl responded dismissively, "I was actually asking James, though," she added. James and Remus immediately broke out into laughter.

"That's right, put him in his place," Remus stated approvingly.

"My summer was very good, Constance. And yours?" James asked politely with a purposeful sideward glance at Sirius.

"Oooh, her name's Constance!" Sirius mouthed wordlessly to Remus with a wince.

"Fine, thank you," she replied pleasantly. "I hope I see a lot more of you this year, James. I hardly saw any of you at all last year."

"Well, maybe we'll have some classes together," James suggested.

"I really hope so," she replied enthusiastically. "We should really sit down and get to know each other some time, James. We've been in the same house seven years and yet I don't know a single thing about you other than you're a horrific student and an awe-inspiring quidditch player. Oh, and of course, also that you're quite good-looking." Constance winked in a very subtle way at James before tossing her blond hair over her shoulder and flouncing up the stairs.

"How could you not even know her name!" Remus exclaimed in horror. "You were going to hit on her and you didn't even know her name?"

"Eh, what's in a name? A rose by any other—"

"Sirius, my friend, I think you ought to pick another victim of the month," Remus suggested.

"No. She's this month's flavor," he replied stubbornly.

"I think she's more interested in James."

"Well, I'm _not_ interested in her," James countered quickly. "She's got a tiny piece of fluff for a brain. It might just up and fly out one day when it's windy."

"Well that was just cruel," Remus scolded. "She's a perfectly nice girl."

"I like my girls dumb as a bag of rocks," Sirius said defensively. "It makes the pursuit a bit easier for me. If I wanted someone smart I'd go after Evans."

"And I'd kill you," James added.

"So you've said."

"You'd kill him for going after Lily?" Remus asked, a note of panic evident in his voice. James shifted his gaze towards Remus.

"Well, only because he's pond scum. If Lily was interested in him, though, I could hardly help it," James explained with a meaningful look.

"Enough of this talk. We're the Marauders! We don't need women."

"Well, if you ever want offspring, you might actually need a woman. I hear it's common procedure," James interjected.

"No, no, haven't you ever heard of Clive Minton? He once was trying to do a transfiguration spell on a pig and he somehow ended up pregnant. The first ever documented case of it!" Remus and James both stared at Sirius as though he'd just sprouted a second head.

"Yes, well…off to bed then," Remus suggested as he and James ran up the stairs to their dormitory.

"I'm just saying! And you know, another thing! I need, and I do mean need, to figure out how to get up the stairs to the girl's dormitory this year! It's essential to my very being!" Sirius continued to yell after his quickly retreating friends. "Right then, I guess I do need a woman," he muttered to himself after his friends had left.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2:**

The next morning, everyone gathered excitedly at breakfast in the Great Hall to discuss their schedules for the year as well as the latest gossip about newly forming couples and newly forming breakups. The Marauders sat together discussing their latest agenda of pranks for the upcoming weeks, but Sirius was lacking his usual spirit as his latest conquest had failed. He kept casting longing looks in Constance's general direction.

"Give it up, she doesn't like you," Peter chuckled snidely.

"Shut it, Wormtail," Sirius snarled back. Peter looked slightly hurt as he poked rather violently at his oatmeal with his spoon.

"Everyone else has been saying it," he muttered half to himself. "I don't see why I can't." Alice soon sat down beside Peter and began to pick at her own bowl of oatmeal while making pained attempts at polite conversation with him.

"Alice, where's Lily?" James asked as soon as he noticed her.

"She should be along soon. She overslept a bit," she replied nonchalantly. Lily walked up to the table at this point with a displeased look upon her face.

"I did not! I just decided I didn't need to spend the extra three hours primping to make a good impression on my first day like the rest of you girls," Lily stated defensively.

"I didn't take three hours! Who am I trying to impress? I've already got Frank!" Alice protested.

"Alright, well, not you, Allie, but everyone else."

"That's because you're a natural beauty, Evans," James offered with a suave smile. "If you spent time trying to make yourself any more beautiful I'd have a heart attack on the spot after having sighted such a dazzling vision."

"Shove off," Lily replied evenly as she sat down at Alice's side.

"You need to learn how to take a compliment, Lily," Alice told her with a pointed look.

"Not from him I don't," she replied with a derisive snort. "He couldn't possibly mean it. He just likes to poke fun at me. It's his pathetic excuse for leisure."

"Lily, darling, I have lots of hobbies. Like snogging you in dark corners for one," James returned effortlessly. Remus choked a little on his own breakfast at this point and turned to Lily with a look of utter alarm.

"I think before it can be considered a hobby you actually have to have done it in real life, not just in your twisted, perverted fantasies," Lily replied, dishing large amounts of oatmeal into her ready bowl and giving Remus a sidelong wink.

"Consider it a future hobby then. I have every intention of making it one."

"And I have every intention of strangling you in your sleep, but if I did that I might very well find myself on a little vacation in Azkaban. So, you see, we can't all get our wish."

"Lily, my dearest, the only reason I'd ever die is of a broken heart if I find it's really true you don't love me," James stated dramatically, pouting like a child.

"Well then, I'll make the funeral arrangements," Lily offered pertly.

"Like a dagger in my heart, Evans. Like a dagger in my heart," James responded sadly, shaking his head slowly back and forth.

"Oh stop going on you two, you're no better than a couple of children," Alice admonished in a very motherly way.

"Yes, and there are more important things at stake," Sirius announced, "such as my manhood. Lily, Alice, how should I go about attracting an impossible woman?"

"I don't think you could attract a clam if you tried," Lily replied nonchalantly. Alice rolled her eyes and shook her head.

"Sirius, honestly, if you want a girl to like you then be nice to her, be yourself. Don't put on an act because that's what you think she wants," Alice explained patiently.

"That's the most boring advice I've ever heard," Sirius returned with a yawn. "Come on, I need a scheme!"

"Sirius, honestly, I don't think a woman could be attracted to you unless she lacked a brain," Lily continued, ignoring Alice's sincere advice.

"Well then, Sirius, you're in luck," James declared with a grin. "He's happened to pick just that kind of a girl as his next target."

"She's a nice girl!" Remus insisted.

"Perfectly nice, and perfectly dizzy in the head," James threw in.

"Who are we talking about anyway?" Alice questioned, almost fearing the answer.

"Good morning, James," an overly peppy voice exclaimed, interrupting the conversation with very fortunate timing. James turned suddenly, his usual grin disappearing off his face.

"Oh, Constance, good morning to you, too," he replied rather robotically.

"What class do you have first?" The blond questioned excitedly, twirling a piece of her impossibly blond hair around a finger delicately.

"Uhhh…" James paused, looking around helplessly. "I think I have Transfiguration, but—" James was cut off suddenly by a squeal of delight.

"Oh, James! Me too!" Constance shrieked. James looked incredibly taken aback.

"Great?" James questioned, bracing for another shriek.

"Jamesy, is it okay if I call you Jamesy?" She asked without pausing for an answer. "You just have to walk me. Won't you walk me?"

"I think Sirius might be thrilled to walk you." Constance looked in Sirius's general direction with a look of extreme distaste.

"Oh? Well, I was really hoping you would, Jamesy," she insisted with a smile.

"Well, I mean, the Marauders usually walk together," James stumbled for a way out of this awkward situation.

"James, please! Let's not be rude!" Sirius rose immediately and took her arm. "Since Jamesy is being so rude, I'll escort you," he continued as he pulled her away unwillingly. Constance looked over her shoulder with great displeasure as she clucked at Sirius for pulling her away from James, who looked tremendously relieved.

"Ugh, I cannot believe this!" Lily cried out with disgust.

"I know! Isn't she annoying!" James said in disbelief.

"What?" Lily questioned with a blank look. "Oh, that. No, I'm not talking about her. You have Transfiguration first? What did you do, stalk me so you could take every class I do?" James's look of disbelief suddenly changed back to his regular disarming smile.

"Evans, there's no one I'd rather learn with than you."

"I'll transfigure you into a rock."

"They say such bantering back and forth between a young man and lady is a sure sign of true love," Frank Longbottom acknowledged with a sly grin as he approached the table.

"Frank, no!" Alice declared with a look of horror. "Lily and James aren't meant to be. Everyone can see that clearly Lily's meant to be with a certain other boy," she continued on knowingly.

"What other boy?" James questioned spitefully. Alice shot him a look that clearly told him to shut his mouth before turning to smile deliberately at Remus who blushed furiously in return.

"I, for one, don't think Lily's the girlfriend type," Peter muttered sullenly.

"She certainly is!" Remus called out defensively.

"Well I wouldn't have her. She's much too outspoken," he continued, his nose twitching back and forth like that of his characteristic aniamgus.

"She wouldn't have you either, I'd imagine," James cut in. "Now enough of this nonsense. It wouldn't look good if the Head Boy was late to his first class." Lily looked up with sudden surprise.

"Why, I never thought I'd see the day! James Potter is worried about getting to class on time! Now if memory serves me correctly, I do believe you missed well over half of the classes of last year's Transfiguration for various, somewhat questionable reasons."

"Lily, I keep telling you, my love, I've turned over a new leaf. James Potter is a changed man."

"I'll believe it when I see it."

"Enough bickering, he's right," Frank stated authoritatively. "It's time for class."

The whole group filed off to class, James leading the way heroically, or so he liked to think, while offering a running commentary on all of the basic personality flaws of the typical Slytherin and why they should all be burned at the stake. They arrived a few minutes early, and the whole class gasped with awe as they observed a sight never before seen in Hogwarts.

"The Marauders coming to class on time?"

"I think the world's ending."

"I think James is Head Boy now so he has no choice," Sirius piped in.

"I think James Potter is a very responsible young man," Constance stated, looking indignant. James ruffled his hair uncomfortably as he smiled awkwardly at Constance before sitting as far away from here as possible. She immediately arose from her seat next to Sirius and started in James's direction, eyeing the empty seat next to him.

"Evans, please," James pleaded, motioning to the seat at his side.

"No," Lily replied simply as she started in the other direction. James grabbed her wrist gently and tugged at it as he gave her his best puppy dog impression.

"Please!" Lily rolled her eyes with exasperation as she looked longingly towards Remus who was sitting among several empty seats motioning for her to have a seat next to him. Constance came bouncing up, her blond hair swinging behind her, a wide smile on her face.

"Is this seat taken?" she asked James, blinking her lashes heavily laden with mascara rather rapidly. James shot Lily another beseeching look.

"Actually, yeah, I'm sitting here," Lily jumped in, not even believing that she was saying these words. Constance's smile instantly turned to a sullen frown.

"Want to trade with me?"

"No, thanks. This seat has really good note-taking light," she explained. Constance looked as though she were growing more and more upset with Lily.

"I see. Well, then, Jamesy, I'll sit with you next time. Don't you worry," she promised cheerfully before turning on her heel and sauntering away with a purposeful swagger of her hips. James just nodded helplessly while swallowing hard. As soon as Constance had returned to her seat next to Sirius, James shot Lily the biggest grin.

"Hey, Lily," he said quietly, "thanks. I really owe you."

"Don't get used to it, Potter. I don't know what made me want to help the likes of you." James made no response, he just continued grinning at her happily.

Class went by rather uneventfully. The professor spent most of it recapping previous lessons so as to refresh their memories after a long summer of inactivity. James fell asleep no more than six times, though he managed to snore only once. At the end of the lesson, everyone filed slowly out of the classroom, the boring subject matter having drained them all of any enthusiasm they'd had going into the first day of classes.

"Lily, why didn't you come sit by me?" Remus questioned as he caught up with Lily at the door. Lily ran a hand through her long red hair as she furrowed her brow anxiously, not knowing herself why she'd come to James's rescue.

"Well, Potter apparently needed rescuing from that blond," Lily paused here, unable to think of an appropriate description. "That blond…thing." Remus suppressed a laugh as he smiled broadly.

"Well, I don't want to be mean, but she's so—well—I don't really think there's a nice word for it," Lily concluded with a sheepish grin.

"Jamesy! Jamesy! Do you have a break now, too!" A shrill voice resonated throughout the hallway as everyone turned to stare at the blond-haired girl shouting urgently. James's face immediately gained a rather pained look as he sped up his walking pace rather drastically in the opposite direction. "Jamesy! Wait!"

"Constance, wait! I have a break now!" Sirius ran after the two of them with an eager look in his eyes. Remus grabbed his arm as he ran by.

"Sirius, no offense, but I think you should end this particular pursuit. Besides, I saw Sarah shooting longing looks in your direction all of class. You should talk to her. She's such a nice girl," Remus tried reasoning with his friend. Sirius nodded distractedly as he watched Constance continue to run down the hallway after James.

"Look at that hair bounce. Just look at her. She's stunning. No, I must have her," Sirius responded, his eyes not moving from Constance.

"Shall I wipe the drool off your chin for you?" Lily offered as she rolled her eyes.

"I'm sure Sarah's hair bounces, too!" Remus sighed with frustration.

"Not like that," Sirius exclaimed as he took off into a run once more. Remus shook his head slowly.

"Why am I friends with him again?"

"Don't look at me. I haven't the slightest idea," Lily responded with a shrug.

"Sarah's liked him forever."

"Everyone's liked him forever. Well, and James, too," Lily concluded. Remus turned to look at her questioningly.

"And you? You too?"

"Please, Remus. What do you take me for? One of their brainless Barbie doll admirers?"

"So you don't like James?" Remus bit his lip anxiously as he ran his hand through his hair. He looked as though he almost feared Lily's answer.

"Remus! I despise him! Can't you tell?" Lily scoffed in disbelief. She couldn't believe Remus was asking such an outrageous question.

"Just checking," he returned with a nervous chuckle. "I like to keep on the latest Hogwarts gossip." Lily couldn't help but notice that his eyes twinkled a bit more brightly and his smile seemed more genuine now that Lily had reassured him she wasn't harboring a secret love for James.

"Yes, I'm sure," Lily replied suspiciously. "Why do you care so much?" Remus didn't offer a response, he just shrugged and smiled.

"Want to take a walk around the lake before Defense Against the Dark Arts?"

"You're taking Defense Against the Dark Arts, too?" Lily looked hopeful, and felt hopeful, too. She really wanted to him to say yes, which surprised her a bit.

"I sure am," Remus replied with a grin as he began to walk towards the grounds.

"Sure, let's go," Lily answered happily as she followed. Alice passed the two of them in the hall and grinned ecstatically.

"Where are you two off to?"

"The lake for a walk," Remus offered. He paused for a moment and then added reluctantly, "do you want to join us?"

"No, no, no. You two go. I've got to meet Frank." She stopped to smile at them both knowingly and she squeezed Lily's arm emphatically before walking away happily.

"What was that all about?" Remus shot Lily a quizzical look. Lily played with her hair apprehensively as she thought for a moment.

"Oh, who knows? You know how Alice is. Her head's always in the clouds since she started dating Frank."

"I suppose." Remus held the door open for Lily as they started towards the lake. The air smelled pleasantly of flowers in bloom, a hint of summer still evident in the warmth of the sun. Lily breathed in deeply as she surveyed the vast expanse of the Hogwarts grounds with her shining green eyes.

"I missed Hogwarts." Remus smiled at her fondly as she looked around contentedly.

"Me too. Well, I missed some things about it more than others. And some people, too," Remus stated meaningfully as he continued to gaze at Lily, his heartbeat increasing slightly. Lily was still looking at the lake, oblivious to Remus's intense stare.

"I know. It's so boring at home with my wretched sister. I miss everyone here so much. Writing letters just isn't the same."

"You probably missed Alice a lot, didn't you?" Remus asked with a sigh.

"No, she actually visited me quite a bit during the summer," Lily replied with a faint smile. "I missed other people more. You didn't write enough, for example," Lily teased.

"I didn't want to annoy you by writing too often," Remus admitted. "I thought you'd get sick of me."

"I missed you the most!"

"You did?" Remus's cheeks began to glow slightly, which Lily was pleased to notice.

"I did," Lily repeated as she turned to face Remus. They had reached the edge of the lake and a breeze was rustling gently through their hair.

"I missed you, too, Lily. A lot," Remus said softly, his eyes shining warmly.

"Good! Write me more often next summer then! And during Christmas, too!"

"I will, I promise." They both sat together underneath a tree, looking the waves slowly forming in the lake.

"And come visit me, too! I'm always telling my mother about you and the rest of the Marauders. She wants to meet you!" Remus's grin stretched even further across his face.

"Anything you'd like. We'll all come, Lily. And I'll make everyone behave."

"Well, I'm not asking for miracles, here. Just a simple visit will suffice."

"They'll behave like gentlemen or I'll hex them all," Remus vowed. Lily felt a blush rise to her cheeks as she realized the full intensity of what she was feeling.

"You're great," was all Lily could say to express her emotions. Remus looked thoughtful for a moment, and then slowly began to move closer towards Lily.

"Jamesy! You're just too cute! Why did you run away from me like that? To think I'd find you hiding in the Forbidden Forest! You're so silly." James suddenly came running into view as he continuously glanced nervously over his shoulder. Not watching where he was going, he tripped over Lily and went tumbling to the ground.

"Ouch!" Lily and James grunted in unison as they each nursed their respective injuries.

"Potter! Watch where you going, stupid git," Lily fussed as she rubbed her elbow. James opened his mouth to apologize when he suddenly realized how close Lily and Remus had been sitting together.

"Hello, Remus," he said emotionlessly. "What were you two doing?"

"Lily was just telling me how she wants all the Marauders to visit her during Christmas," Remus explained. "Lily, are you alright?" He rubbed his fingers lightly over her elbow, concern evident in his eyes.

"I'm fine. No thanks to Potter," she growled with a sneer in his direction.

"You want us to visit you?" James asked, disregarding her menacing look.

"Yes," she admitted reluctantly. James grinned broadly in response.

"I'll be there, Evans," he proclaimed jubilantly.

"Jamesy! There you are!" Constance beamed happily as she flipped her blond hair over her shoulder in an obvious attempt at flirtation. Her eyes darted to Lily for a moment and her overly tooth grin disappeared. "Lily, hi."

"Hi, Constance."

"Jamesy, why don't you leave the happy couple alone and come with me? We don't want to intrude on their time together." Remus and Lily both blushed immediately in response.

"They're not a couple!" James shouted at her.

"Sure, they aren't, dear," Constance returned with a roll of her eyes.

"Well, we'd better be getting to class," Lily announced, breaking the awkward silence.

"Uh, yeah, we'll be late," Remus added as they both scrambled to their feet. They started to walk away as James cast them a pleading look which clearly said, 'Don't leave me alone with this psycho.' Lily heaved a deep sigh as she slowed her pace a bit and looked deliberately at James.

"Potter, come on. You still haven't told me about your summer. Tell me on the way to class," Lily stated firmly. James shot her a look full of gratitude as a smile reached his lips.

"Sure thing, Evans." He turned to Constance and gave a small wave. "See you later."

"Jamesy, I'll come with you!"

"What class do you have next?" Lily questioned the blond vixen.

"Potions," she answered with a pout of her lips and a longing glance towards James.

"What a shame! We have Defense Against the Dark Arts, which is in a completely different area. So, I guess we'll see you later, 'Stancey. Ta ta!" Lily grabbed James's arm with one hand and Remus's with her other as she tugged at them to indicate they should pick up the pace.

"Jamesy! I'll see you later! We can snog in the tower tonight!" Constance called after James, desperation evident in her voice.

"I have to do homework tonight," James shouted over his shoulder.

"Constance!" Sirius suddenly came running onto the scene and immediately began to engage Constance in meaningless, shallow conversation.

"She can't possibly be that stupid, can she?" Lily questioned in disbelief.

"I think she believes if she drops her IQ 50 points, she'll somehow be more attractive to guys," James offered. "But that only works for Sirius. He likes his women stupid. That way they won't know he's just going to dump them in a few weeks."

"Lovely," Lily replied shortly.

"Hey, don't get angry with me. I like my women smart," James offered. "Smart and ambitious. Like you, Lilykins. And only you."

"Lucky me," Lily responded sarcastically.

"Lily, dearest, I love you for your mind _and_ your devastatingly good looks."

"Swell."

"You are the flower of my life."

"Mm-hmm," Lily shot Remus a look of annoyance, and he nodded sympathetically. They were walking along the edge of the lake now, making their way back towards the school.

"Shall I recite some poetry to convince you of my undying love?"

"No, but I'm about to push you into the lake with undying disgust."

"Well, I would like a good swim."

"Brilliant," Lily said simply. She reached out and gave James a firm push. He stumbled sideways and then fell gracelessly into the dark waters of the lake.

"Lily!" Remus burst into hysterical laughter. James surfaced suddenly, thrashing his limbs about wildly.

"Bravo, Evans," he called from the murky water. "I didn't think you had it in you." He dragged himself out of the lake and shook his hair like a wet dog. He then proceeded to wrap his arms around Lily in a giant bear hug.

"Potter! You stupid jerk!" James continued to hold her in his wet embrace until she was thoroughly soaked. Remus stood by helplessly, not sure how to react.

"There you go, Lily. My gift from me to you." James smiled triumphantly at Lily as he rubbed his wet hands on her hair for good measure.

"Get stuffed," she shouted at him. James laughed gleefully as he began to wring the excess water from his robes. Remus wrapped his own robe around Lily without a word.

"Don't catch a chill," he told her softly as he rested his hands on her shoulders for a moment. She smiled warmly at him. James cleared his throat suddenly and rather violently.

"No one cares about me catching a chill," he muttered sullenly.

"I'm sure Constance would care," Remus offered.

"I hate you both."


	3. Chapter 3

_A/N: Thanks so much for those of you who have left comments! If you're reading, leave a comment or something to let me know, if you would. I love feedback!_

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**Chapter 3:**

Lily tapped her foot impatiently on the cold stone floor as she glanced irritably towards the stairway to the boys' dormitory.

"Potter! Get your behind down here now! We're late for patrol duty!" Lily waited a few more moments, but no one came down the stairs but Sirius.

"He'll be right along, Lily."

"We're late," Lily snapped.

"Lily, Lily, Lily, he's just trying to look his best for you! You know how much he enjoys your late night patrols together. They're the highlight of his day," Sirius explained with a disarming smile. "Especially when you ditch patrol and go off and snog in a dark corner," Sirius continued on with a wink. Lily glared disapprovingly in Sirius's general direction.

"Sod off," she offered.

"Tsk, tsk, Lily. Where are your manners?"

"James! Get your bloody self downstairs!" Lily sighed with exasperation and turned her eyes towards the ceiling, saying a silent prayer for her sanity. She then shook her head and turned her gaze back towards Sirius. "So, Sirius, how goes the chasing of Constance?"

"I think I'm making major progress, Lily, I really do. Yesterday, I said hello, and she said shut up," Sirius looked at Lily expectantly, an obvious look of pride upon his face.

"How is this progress?" Lily asked, though she couldn't help but feel this would be a fruitless conversation.

"Well, you see, before she always used to tell me to bugger off. Now she's telling me to shut up. You see?"

"No."

"Well, but, it's obvious," Sirius explained with a puzzled look. "Before she wanted me to go away, but now she wants me to stay and be quiet. But she wants me to stay! She wants my company!" Sirius grinned pompously.

"Well, congratulations are in order then. I'm sure that's the way to win a girl's heart. You just keep on wearing her down, Sirius. One day she'll just give up and marry you, I suppose." Sirius's smile disappeared and was replaced by a look of absolute disgust.

"Lily, don't joke about such a thing. Marriage?" Sirius shuddered. "That's just cruel. Never will I ever marry. I'm much too attractive to be tied to one woman."

"Forgive me, Sirius. I never realized that the word marriage could offend someone so deeply." Lily rolled her eyes and shook her head.

"That's quite alright. Just, please, never mention it again."

"I promise."

"Good, I'm glad that's settled then," Sirius said with a sigh of relief. He then lit up as though he'd suddenly thought of a wonderful idea. "Lily, darling, why have we never been an item?" He started to approach Lily, a grin on his lips.

"Mainly because you're scum," Lily explained casually. "James Bloody Potter! I will never speak to you again if you're not down here in ten seconds!" Sirius was directly at her side now, eyeing her like a hungry dog.

"We'd have made a good couple. If only James hadn't always been head over heels for you," Sirius stated wistfully.

"James doesn't like me any better than he likes fleas," Lily returned with annoyance.

"You really think that after all this time?" Sirius gave Lily a meaningful look. She stopped for a moment to think if she really did believe that or not. James had started to seem almost sincere lately, and there were those looks he gave her. Lily was just about to respond honestly to Sirius's inquiry when she found his lips pressed against hers in a firm kiss and his arms wrapped tightly around her. Her whole body tensed as her mind raced with a million murderous thoughts. She struggled for a minute before she managed to push him away forcefully. She turned her eyes away from him as she wiped her lips with her sleeve in pure disgust. She was just about to slap him when she heard a loud noise and a guttural grunt. James had already punched Sirius hard in the jaw.

"Ouch, mate!" Sirius reeled backwards as he put his hand to his jaw tenderly. "What the bloody—"

"Don't touch her. Again. Ever. Or I will give you more than a bruise," James snarled. His eyes were wild with rage, his whole body tensed into a defensive stance.

"I just wanted to see what it'd be like! She's always been off limits," Sirius whined.

"You're scum."

"Why does everyone think I'm scum," Sirius muttered to himself as he rubbed his jaw. Lily had stood in shocked silence this entire time, and James turned to her with concern.

"Are you alright, Lily?" His eyes shone with concern as he put a steadying hand on her shoulder.

"I'm—I'm fine, James," she responded softly. James squeezed her shoulder for a moment and then turned back to Sirius.

"I mean it, Black. Touch her again and—"

"I get the point, thank you. Move along now. You're late for patrol. Oh, and do me a favor and don't tell Constance about this. Well, unless you think it'll make her jealous and it will work to my advantage. In that case, feel free." Lily couldn't help but smile inwardly. Sirius truly hadn't meant anything by it; he was just that big a pervert.

"Come on, Lily," James put an arm around her shoulder protectively and steered her out the portrait hole. "Are you sure you're alright?"

"I'm fine, James, really. He didn't mean anything by it."

"He's a bloody pervert."

"Agreed, but nonetheless, he didn't mean any harm. He just thinks with his hormones instead of his brain. Well, if he's even got a brain, that is." James turned to look at her with disbelief as he let a laugh escape him.

"Why are you sticking up for him?"

"I don't see any reason why a perfectly good friendship should be ruined over something so trivial as Sirius's raging hormones," Lily explained soothingly.

"Maybe not, but he's still an idiot," James proclaimed. "But if it means that much to you, Lily, I'll forgive him."

"Good. Let's patrol and be done with it then, alright?" The pair walked their obligatory route around the castle checking for any students who dared to break the rules.

"Do you suppose there's anyone snogging in the Astronomy Tower tonight?" James pondered aloud.

"Merlin, I hope not," Lily answered with disgust. "I don't feel like dealing with any more of that."

"Maybe it'll be empty for us then, hmm?" James winked at Lily fervently and raised his brows.

"Maybe I'll push you off the roof like I pushed you into the lake."

"I'm just kidding. You know that, right?" James questioned, an uncharacteristically serious look etched on his face.

"About snogging me?"

"Well," James laughed lightly, "I'd certainly kiss you if you'd ever let me."

"Let me put you at ease then, that day will never come. So don't worry yourself over it."

"Lily, come on, I'm trying to be serious here," James insisted as he stopped to look at her. "I mean, I'd never do something like Sirius did to you tonight. Ever." Lily paused to look at James in curiosity. She surveyed his face, looking for some sign of insincerity. She found nothing.

"I know, James," Lily responded gently. He heaved a large sigh and started to walk once more.

"I just wanted you to know that, Lily. I respect you." Lily was overwhelmed by this sudden outpouring of sincerity.

"Shut up, Potter." James just smiled slightly.

"How do you feel about Remus?" James asked this in a casual tone, though clearly he was struggling to mask his emotions.

"Excuse me? Where did that come from?"

"Well, you two have been dancing around the subject for the past few weeks."

"How would you know? Remus and I are just—we're just friends," Lily declared, though her voice wavered a bit.

"Lily, he's head over heels in love with you, and I see the way you look at him," James paused here to draw in a deep breath. He cringed a bit before going on, "You look at him like he's going to give you the world. You two really should give it a go." It was very clear that it literally pained James to say these words to Lily. He could not even make eye contact with her. His cheeks were flushed a deep red, his eyes filled with regret.

"He's a good guy," Lily replied quietly.

"He is, Lily, he really is. And you'd be happy with him," he continued on in earnest. "You would be, wouldn't you?"

"I don't know, James."

"Well think about it, Lily. Just think about it. You two would be good for each other. He's the best Marauder by far—as far as relationships are concerned."

"I don't think that's necessarily true. You all mean well." Lily thought for a moment and then added, "Well, except Sirius." James laughed heartily.

"Lily, you're one in a million." Lily allowed herself to look at James out of the corner of her eye and was surprised to find he was gazing at her fondly.

"Don't get all soft on me, Potter!"

"Sorry, Evans," James replied, snapping to attention. "So, are you going to snog Remus?" James asked with a mischievous look.

"Shove off, Potter."

The next morning, Lily found herself sitting in rather awkward silence with Remus at breakfast. She couldn't determine whether or not James had been serious last night, and so she sat paralyzed, unable to say or do anything.

"Lily, are you alright?" Remus questioned with a concerned look. "You're rather quiet this morning."

"I, uh, I'm fine, Remus," Lily replied, quickly inhaling a mouthful of eggs to avoid further questions. James plopped himself down on the bench at Lily's side with an annoyingly loud yawn.

"Good morning, love of my life. You're looking smashing as always. You know, with your eyes and my brilliant hair, our children will be unbelievably attractive. We might have to keep them out of public for a while so as not cause a stir. No doubt the press will be all over the world's most attractive children. Shall we go start making some beautiful babies?" James questioned without stopping for breath.

"If you plan on ever having offspring, I suggest you shut up now before I'm forced to take drastic action and you lose the ability to ever father a child," Lily returned, not lifting her eyes from her eggs.

"Morning, children, have you two gotten together yet?" Sirius inquired with a look at Lily and Remus as he sat down across from them.

"Subtle," James said with a disapproving look.

"I don't have time for subtlety," he explained. "Constance, want to snog tonight?" he called out in the next breath. Constance approached the table, her blond hair bouncing behind her.

"Excuse me?"

"I said, do you want to snog tonight?" Sirius repeated unabashedly, not even blinking.

"No. There are other people I'd rather snog. James, what are you doing tonight?" She redirected her big blue eyes at James.

"I guess no one's much for subtlety around here," James muttered to himself. He then looked up and smiled politely at Constance's eager face. "I've got to wash my hair," he explained matter-of-factly. Constance shot him a skeptical look. James just shrugged in response, "my hair's my trademark. I must be well groomed at all times. Besides, Lily always tells me how much she adores my clean, gorgeously styled hair." Constance looked thoroughly annoyed at this explanation.

"I think I'll skip breakfast this morning," she said coldly.

"Me too!" Sirius scrambled to his feet and followed after her.

"That's it, mate. Girls love being pursued by desperate boys," James called after him.

"Actually, girls don't love that," Lily added with a pointed look at James. "Then again, I wouldn't expect you to know anything about what girls like. Especially considering you've never been able to keep a steady girlfriend."

"You're very spunky this morning, Evans. Lay off the pumpkin juice, it's going straight to your head."

"At least my head isn't monstrously large due to a disproportionately large ego," Lily shot back.

"Touche!" James answered with a smile. "I admit defeat."

"Well, I'll just leave you two alone then," James announced with a casual stretch of his arms. He elbowed Lily hard in the side and gave her a meaningful look before he went to join Peter for breakfast.

"What are they on about?" Remus questioned suspiciously.

"Who knows?" Lily responded, avoiding his eyes. "They act like a bunch of 10 year olds."

"Lily, I was wondering," Remus began, his voice a bit shaky. "Maybe tomorrow, when we go to Hogsmeade, do you want to get a butterbeer with me?" Remus's face had turned a painful shade of red and his eyes were trained steadily on the floor.

"Remus, don't be silly, when have we not gotten butterbeer?"

"I, err—I meant," Remus began to wring his hands nervously as his face turned an even more impossible shade of scarlet. "I meant alone. Just—just the two of us," he managed to explain. Lily's lips curled into a smile.

"Is there any reason why?" Lily inquired, trying to get Remus to make eye contact with her.

"I just—I'd like to talk with you," Remus replied.

"We're talking now," Lily pointed out with a grin. She knew she was being unnecessarily mean about this, but she couldn't help herself. She wanted to get it whatever it was out of him now if at all possible, and after her conversation with James the previous night, she had a sneaking suspicion she knew what it was all about. Or at least she hoped she knew.

"Well, I know, but," Remus stopped and sighed, not able to continue. He finally looked up at Lily helplessly.

"I'm sorry, we can talk about it tomorrow. Of course I'll have a butterbeer with you," Lily spoke apologetically. Remus's face slowly began to turn a more normal shade of flesh as he smiled broadly.

"Great, thanks." James, who had been watching this entire sequence of events and awkwardness from nearby, looked rather unsettled, but when his eyes met Lily's, he managed to shoot her one of his trademark grins. He got up and walked over to where they sat, grinning the whole way.

"Just wanted to let you both know I've started the day off right. I've already managed to deduct 30 points from Slytherin," James proclaimed proudly.

"Potter, we're not supposed to use the system to our advantage," Lily scolded.

"You know you love it, Evans," James replied with a wink.

"You're an idiot."

"Yes, but I'm _your_ idiot, Evans."


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: Thanks **so** much to everyone who left some feedback! You guys are awesome and I appreciate it so much! I've got quite up to chapter nine written, so let me know when you're ready to read more! I don't want to overwhelm anyone by posting too much at once :)

**Chapter 4:**

Remus pulled out a chair for Lily and gestured towards it, signaling for her to be seated. She sat down eagerly, her stomach in knots from nervously anticipating these moments ever since Remus had first asked to speak with her alone.

"I'll be right back," Remus announced as he turned on his heel and walked towards the counter. Lily wrapped a lock of vibrant red hair around her finger tightly and tugged nervously on it. Her foot was jiggling at a rather rapid speed beneath the table, and her breakfast was threatening to make a sudden reappearance. Remus returned after a minute with two butterbeers in hand. He placed one in front of Lily and then took the seat next to her as he began to drink apprehensively. They both sat in silence for a while as they hesitantly sipped at their glasses. Finally, Lily could no longer stand it.

"So, Remus, what was it you wanted to talk to me about?" Remus looked rather shocked as he began to choke on the gulp of butterbeer he'd just taken.

"W—what? Oh, right, umm, well, Lily. You see—we've been friends for quite some time," Remus began awkwardly, tugging at the collar of his robes. "And, I, ukhuhh, well—I just wanted to know—well, what you thought of—of—of all the dark things going on in the news lately," Remus concluded finally, as he rolled his eyes at himself for having lost his courage.

"Well—uh—I don't know, Remus," Lily responded after a moment of silent disbelief. "I mean, it does seem like we're all going to be in for an awful lot of trouble. What with all the deaths recently and the supposed emergence of a very dark wizard, things are looking quite glib indeed."

"Yes, yes," Remus nodded his head solemnly. "Awful business that is."

"Did you want to talk to me alone because you wanted my honest opinion on current events?" Lily prodded gently, trying to remind Remus there was a larger purpose to their outing.

"No, of course not," Remus responded with a hard swallow. "I just, wondered what your thoughts were." He glanced around the room anxiously, avoiding Lily's questioning eyes.

"Remus, did you want to take a walk? Go somewhere a bit quieter?"

"Splendid idea!" Remus instantly lit up at the suggestion as he sprang to his feet. Lily drank the last few drops of her butterbeer and then followed suit. The pair exited The Three Broomsticks together and began to walk towards the edge of Hogsmeade where it was a bit more tree-lined and private.

"Lily," Remus began. "You're such a wonderful friend to me. You always have been. You're so smart, kind, generous…honest. You're caring and you're hilarious. And you're so beautiful—I mean, really, genuinely beautiful." Remus paused for a moment, his eyes locked with Lily's. His breath was coming in short little gasps, his whole body flushed due to pure trepidation.

"Thank you, Remus," Lily answered softly.

"I mean it, Lily. I mean every word of it. You're just wonderful, and—and, I just want you to know that, I—well—"

Lily smiled fondly at him as he stumbled over his words. Her heart began to race. She reached out suddenly and grasped one of his hands, intertwining her fingers with his own.

"Remus," she almost whispered as she stepped towards him. Remus looked at his hand in utter disbelief. He blinked hard as though perhaps this vision were only an illusion.

"What?" Shock was apparent in his voice as he continued to stare at his hand—interlocked with Lily's. Lily stepped even closer towards Remus as she tilted her head upwards, gazing into his kind eyes.

"I like you," she managed to say aloud. "A lot," she added. "In a romantic, more-than-just-friends way," she concluded with a smile. Remus's mouth fell open as he stood there dumbfounded.

"Hey, I was supposed to say something like that," Remus exclaimed in astonishment. Lily blushed a shade of red as deep as her hair.

"I'm sorry," she murmured.

"No, wait! I didn't mean that as a criticism. I like you, too," he announced excitedly. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean ruin it, and I never meant to ask you about current affairs, believe me! I just, I didn't know what to say, Lily!" Remus bit his lip anxiously as he ran his free hand through his sandy hair.

"I like you, too, will do just fine," Lily replied with a grin. Remus's eyes filled with relief at her words, his lips curled into a smile. He let out a small laugh of joy as he wrapped his arms tightly around Lily and held her in a gentle embrace just as he had wanted to do for so long now.

"I like you, Lily Evans," he whispered into her sweet-smelling hair as he rested his chin atop her head. Lily breathed in deeply as she returned Remus's embrace, a contented twinkle in her eyes. They stood there for a while, just holding each other, a warm breeze swirling around them. Rays of sunshine made their way through the thick treetops and cast cheerful patterns upon the ground. Lily nestled her head further beneath Remus's chin and sighed happily. She couldn't have imagined a more perfect moment.

"Well, well, well, hello there," a jubilant voice called out suddenly. Lily jumped at the sudden, unexpected noise and Remus turned suddenly to see who had interrupted their moment together, a look of irritation evident on his face. "Well aren't you two just a regular pair of lovebirds?"

"Stuff it, Padfoot," Remus called out in annoyance. Sirius lifted his fingers to his mouth and whistled loudly.

"Good thing I walked in when I did! It looks like things were about to get pretty hot and heavy," Sirius continued on with a smirk. "I mean, we all know what a total pervert Remus is."

"No, that's you you're thinking of," Lily offered without hesitation. He looked thoughtful for a minute as he ran a hand through his shaggy black hair.

"You know, I suppose you're right," he finally answered. "Well, good for you then, Remus. You treat our Lily right. And I'm glad you two crazy kids finally took the big leap. I'll expect an engagement by spring of course," Sirius grinned broadly, his eyes twinkling. "I'll be the best man, naturally. And I'll want to be the godfather to all your children, which I'm sure there will be heaps of, because you two probably won't be able to keep your hands off each other."

"Bugger off," Lily shot at him with a look of aggravation.

"I'm just trying to wish you two the best," Sirius replied, slightly offended. "Don't tell James, though. He'd have my head on a platter if he knew I was relieved you two had finally declared what had been so obvious to the rest of us for some time now." Sirius shot a pointed look at Remus who skillfully avoided eye contact.

"James will find another girl to stalk," Lily retorted.

"James would sooner die than stalk another girl. For some reason he's caught up on you," came Sirius's truthful return. "So just warn me before you two tell James about this. I certainly don't want to be on the same continent when such a dreaded thing occurs," Sirius explained with a fleeting smile. "But congratulations to you two then," he offered as he turned on his heel and began to walk away. "I've got to go find Constance. She suffers so without me by her side," he called out over his shoulder.

"He's delusional," Lily concluded.

"Well, Lily," Remus began, a pained look on his face. "There is some truth to what he says. I mean, James--"

"Remus, don't," Lily interrupted quickly. "James Potter is anything but in love with me. Perhaps he's infatuated with me because he can't have me, but he is not in love."

"Lily--"

"No. I know he's your friend. He's my friend, too. We both know how he is and we both know there's no way he's in love with me," Lily stated firmly, a resolved look in her shining green eyes. Remus just nodded mutely, seeing no sense in arguing this point with her. Besides, she'd be happier if she didn't know the truth.

"Alright, Lily. Alright," he said softly as he embraced her once more. The pair, knowing that their free time left in Hogsmeade was limited, decided to venture back to school.

"Lily, there's something about me you should know," Remus began unsteadily as they walked back towards Hogwarts. "Especially if we're going to be--involved." Lily shot a quizzical glance at Remus.

"I know everything about you that I need to know, Remus," she replied with a smile.

"No, Lily, you don't," Remus responded hesitantly. He had never told anyone about his 'furry little problem' as James had once so eloquently put it except for the Marauders and some of the professors at Hogwarts who needed to know. He heaved a great sigh as he allowed himself to cast a sideward glance at Lily. "You're so beautiful," he said softly as he reached for her hand instinctively. Lily's eyes sparkled jubilantly as she squeezed his hand eagerly. Remus shook himself mentally, trying to renew his courage to tell her about his monthly fiasco. He furrowed his brow, clearly deep in thought.

"Remus, what is it?" Lily's big green eyes were focused on him with concern. As he gazed back into her eyes he lost all his desire to tell her his secret. He didn't want anything to ruin what he'd just found with Lily.

"Nothing," he reassured her with a smile. "Everything's right," he added as he kissed her forehead lightly.

When they arrived back at school, they both headed up to their rooms to gather their books having agreed to devote some time to academics. It already appeared they were going to make a very responsible couple. Remus climbed the stairs to the boys' dormitories, a grin on his face, a little bit of extra spring in his step. He opened the door at the very top of the stairs and headed towards the bookshelf near his bed. He traced a finger along the gleaming wood of the top shelf as he searched for his Defense Against the Dark Arts book. He was so deep in concentration that he didn't even notice that someone had entered the room behind him.

"What are you all dressed up for?" James examined Remus curiously. Remus turned quickly to look at James, dropping his book clumsily in the process. "You've got your best robes on," James continued, "And your hair even looks like you put some mild effort into it." Remus's cheeks began to glow as he averted his eyes from James.

"It's nothing," he muttered half to himself.

"It certainly doesn't look like nothing," James returned suspiciously. "And Lily was sitting in the common room looking very pleased and happy about something. She didn't even insult me when I asked her to snog. She just politely declined and responded absent-mindedly that perhaps some other time would be better." James stared intently at Remus, trying to size up the situation. A sudden flash of understanding etched itself on his face followed by a long silence. "You've told her then, haven't you?"

"James, it all just sort of slipped out. I didn't mean to fall for her, James, I really didn't," Remus explained apprehensively. "I never knew she'd fall for me, too," he continued apologetically.

"So she responded favorably then?" James sighed deeply as he turned away from Remus, but not before his friend caught a glimpse of a very hurt look in the eyes beneath that messy black hair.

"I'm so sorry, James. I'll stay away from her if you want me to," Remus offered against his better judgement. If James actually took him up on that offer he'd be crushed.

"No," James replied firmly. "Remus, I'm glad she likes you. You're a good guy, Moony. You'll make her happy." James turned suddenly back towards Remus, a look of desperation in his eyes. "Please, make her happy. She deserves it."

"I promise I will," Remus vowed quietly. James managed to smile weakly in response. He stood in silence for a moment gathering his thoughts before he spoke again. This time the tone of his voice had returned to normal, along with his usual confident demeanor.

"Remus, my friend, if you break her heart, you're disowned as a Marauder," James declared with a grin as he clapped Remus hard on the back. "And if at any point you find she's willing to snog me instead, send her my way directly." Remus let out a relieved laugh at his friend's usual antics.

"Sod off," Remus replied for good measure. "Come on. Come work on your Defense Against the Dark Arts essay with us so you can have two people breathing down your neck to finish it. Maybe then you'll actually have a chance of doing the unthinkable and completing an assignment on time."

"I guess it wouldn't do any harm to hand in an essay on time," James replied thoughtfully. "Alright, let's go then." The two boys grabbed their books along with some parchment and a few quills and headed back towards the common room where Lily was waiting, already having made a general outline for the essay.

"Mind if I join in on this fun, Evans?" James shot a charming grin at Lily as he took the seat beside her and began to spread out a few loose bits of parchment. Lily raised an eyebrow in Remus's direction, but all she received was an enigmatic shrug in response.

"Yeah, join in, Potter. You probably should start passing your courses now that you're Head Boy anyway."

"So, I heard you and Remus are the hottest new item at Hogwarts," James began casually as he picked up his quill and started to write. Lily shot Remus another questioning glance behind James's back and received another shrug.

"I didn't realize you were such a gossip king, James," Lily returned as she scribbled on her parchment. "And do tell me who the latest couple to break up was, and what shade of pink eye shadow Constance decided to wear today, and how many boys Elaine from Hufflepuff has kissed in the last month."

"I'm just going to go grab another roll of parchment," Remus interjected as he started up the stairs again. Both Lily and James ignored his departure.

"Well, I can hardly begin to tell you how many boys Elaine has kissed, because I haven't enough fingers to keep track," James replied matter-of-factly. "Constance's eyeshadow was a salmon pink today, and John and Lynn broke up last night because John kept claiming he was spending his nights studying Charms in the library when in reality he was spending his nights studying the charms of something entirely different--Ann from Ravenclaw."

"Thank you for that informative update, Potter."

"Anytime, Evans. I'm just a wealth of information."

"Apparently so."

"So—you and Remus? Congratulations," James proclaimed in an overly cheerful voice. Lily glanced at him for a moment to see a ridiculously fake smile plastered on his face.

"Stuff it, Potter," Lily returned.

"I was being sincere! Is he a good kisser or is he rubbish? And when's the wedding?"

"I don't know, but when you don't receive an invitation, I didn't just forget. It was very intentional," Lily answered evenly as she kept her eyes on her parchment.

"Now, now, Evans, I'd invite you to my wedding. In fact, I'd have to since you'd be the one in the wedding robes."

"The only way I'd ever marry you is if you'd threatened to behead me if I refused, and even then it'd be a close call."

"Hmm," James began thoughtfully. "Perhaps I ought to go through with ordering that guillotine then. I knew it'd come in handy one day."

"What's this talk of guillotines," Remus questioned as he returned with a roll of parchment.

"Oh, we're just planning our wedding," James responded easily as he continued writing.

"Clearly a guillotine is a necessary component then," Remus mused aloud as he shook his head.

"Alright, enough talk of our wedding, Lily. Really, you go on about it much too often. Let's finish this essay," James commanded with a hint of a smirk.

"Well now, let's not expect miracles. I'm sure our professor would be pleased if you even finished half of it," Lily answered while still scratching away with her quill.

"I'll have you know, Lily, I'm doing remarkably well this year so far," James announced.

"Good. Maybe you'll make something out of yourself yet. I always knew there was a glimmer of hope somewhere."


	5. Chapter 5

_A/N: Thank you so much to everyone that's reading! And an extra thanks to those who take the time to comment! I really, really appreciate it_

**Chapter 5:**

Lily yawned loudly as she wandered slowly down to the Great Hall to get some breakfast before classes started for the day. She ran her fingers hurriedly through her long red hair and wiped her face with her hands as though this would help any traces of her utter exhaustion disappear. It'd been a few weeks since she and Remus had started to their journey into coupledom, and Lily felt comfortable enough with their relationship that she wasn't putting an extreme amount of effort into her appearance, though, admittedly, it's not as though she was ever putting all that much effort into her physical looks. Remus, however, didn't seem to mind that Lily never fussed over her looks like some sort of witch off the cover of a fashion magazine.

"G'morning, everyone," she muttered sleepily as she sat down beside Remus at the table.

"Look alive, Evans," James proclaimed as he threw a biscuit at her. Lily, of course, was much too tired to process things this quickly and the biscuit hit her square between the eyebrows and bounced onto the table. Her tired green eyes moved slowly towards where the biscuit had landed and she shrugged before picking it up nonchalantly and beginning to take large, unladylike bites from it.

"Goodness, Lily, you're acting like a starved wolf," James announced. "Don't you ever eat?"

"I like food," Lily stated simply through a mouthful of half-chewed biscuit. Remus patted Lily on the back sympathetically. He knew her well enough to realize that when Lily first woke up, she wasn't the most rational or responsive person in the world.

"Good morning, Jamesy," Constance announced in a sickeningly-sweet tone as she sat on the bench next to James. She ran one of her hands through his messy black hair to straighten it and then turned to look at Lily rather triumphantly. James cringed and shrank away from Constance like a young child shrinks away from its mother when she tries to clean its face.

"Stooop," James whined. "My hair's fine. I just got it the way I like it."

"Jamesy, I'm just trying to help," Constance cooed.

"Well, help, Sirius. I'm sure his hair needs combing, too," James complained. As if on cue, Sirius took the seat next to Constance and shot her a large grin.

"Constance, my dear, you look lovely," he announced as he put his arm around her shoulders. Constance looked slightly annoyed, but much to everyone's surprise, she allowed his arm to stay there and didn't shrug it off immediately.

"Are we witnessing a love triangle from some sort of alternative universe?" Lily leaned over to whisper in Remus's ear.

"I guess Sirius is finally wearing her down," Remus whispered back as he reached for Lily's hand under the table and held it gently. Lily smiled at Remus with delight and the two held each other's gaze as though they were sharing a special secret between just the pair of them.

"Sirius! Get your hand off of my thigh," Constance shouted angrily, bringing Lily and Remus quickly back to reality. "You're such a pervert!" Sirius stared back at her like a guilty puppy dog who'd just chewed up his master's shoes.

"Oh, sorry, I—uh, meant to grab your hand," Sirius explained with a small smile. Constance rolled her eyes and shook her head before getting up and walking away to join another table.

"Smooth, Sirius. Well done, mate," James critiqued his friend.

"It was worth a try," Sirius replied with a shrug.

"You're pathetic," Lily added in.

"What? I can clearly see Remus is holding your hand beneath the table now and you two are sitting there very smugly acting rather pleased with yourselves. You think no one can tell you're holding hands and acting all nauseatingly affectionate? Oh, we're very well aware. And I, for one, do not appreciate what Remus is doing, because it makes girls expect certain things. For example, when I touched Constance's thigh she became all offended because she wanted me to go and do a silly thing like hold her hand. You're ruining it for the rest of us, Remus. I mean, honestly," Sirius lectured with conviction.

"I can't help the fact that you're a total pervert," Remus responded with a grin.

"I'm not a pervert! I just have healthy hormones! For the love of Merlin."

"Class. Now," James announced. He'd been rather quiet throughout the whole ordeal and had just sat looking at Remus and Lily rather sullenly from across the table.

"You're particularly articulate today, Potter," Lily pointed out as she rose from the table, dropping Remus's hand. "Remind me to buy you a word-a-day calendar for your birthday."

"I'm tired, and Constance won't leave me alone," James complained as he moved to walk next to Lily. Remus took the textbooks Lily was carrying from her hands and carried them with his own in a sort of old-fashioned gesture of courtship.

"Remus," Lily turned to lecture him, "I'm perfectly capable of carrying my own books."

"I know you are," Remus returned, "but I'd rather carry them for you and save you the trouble." Lily smiled appreciatively at Remus and kissed his cheek quickly. James rolled his eyes as he moved to the side to walk with Peter instead. Lily was walking with Remus, smiling like a completely happy idiot when suddenly someone grabbed her elbow and dragged her to the side.

"Ouch," Lily protested as she rubbed her elbow. She turned to see who had accosted her so suddenly and was surprised when her gaze met the big blue eyes of Alice. "Alice, what's your problem?" Remus looked back at the pair of friends with concern.

"We'll be along in a moment, Remus. Don't worry!" Alice pulled Lily further away and then shot her an impatient look. "Lily, you and Remus have been going out for a few weeks now, right?"

"Yes," Lily replied hesitantly, wondering where Alice was going with this.

"Well, I heard that, you haven't," Alice lowered her voice suddenly, an urgent look on her face, "I heard you haven't kissed yet." Lily looked extremely taken aback.

"You heard? As in, the school is taking note of my kissing habits in extreme detail?"

"Well, I just wanted to ask you about it, Lily. I mean, you really should have kissed him by now."

"Alice, your concern is noted, but Remus and I will kiss when we feel the time is right, not when the rest of Hogwarts deems it appropriate," Lily explained patiently, not believing she was having this conversation. "Meanwhile, I'd appreciate it if the whole of Hogwarts stopped examining my life as though I were a paramecium underneath a microscope."

"Lily, I'm just concerned. Hasn't he ever tried to kiss you before? You probably hurt his feelings if you didn't let him," Alice went on.

"Alice, please!" Lily shot her an irritated look.

"I'm sorry, you're right. Just kiss him soon for Merlin's sake!"

"You kiss him if you're so concerned," Lily replied childishly. Both she and Alice couldn't help but giggle a little at what Lily had just said.

"Go walk with him, I've got to meet Frank," Alice urged her friend.

"Make sure you snog him then," Lily yelled out over her shoulder as she went to rejoin Remus. "You know, since physical affection is clearly of the utmost importance to you." Alice blushed a bright scarlet as she stared murderously at Lily.

"What was that all about?" Remus shifted his books and Lily's from one arm to the other so that he could take Lily's hand in his own.

"Nothing, really," Lily answered honestly. The whole group reached the Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom and found a large number of seats together.

"I was thinking," Sirius announced suddenly to Remus, "that perhaps I might change my goal."

"I'll probably be sorry I asked," Remus began cautiously, "but what do you mean?"

"Well, after I conquer Constance—and I'm reaching that goal more and more by the day—I've decided to move on to another."

"How lovely of you," Lily replied with disgust. "And I suppose you've got the next one all lined up before you've even dated or broken up with Constance?"

"Now, Lily, you make me seem like some sort of awful boy who plays with women's hearts and then discards them when he's tired of them," Sirius scolded sternly.

"Well," Lily sat in silence for a moment. "If the shoe fits—"

"Evans!" Sirius interrupted with a feigned look of shock. "I am nothing but a gentleman!"

"The day you're a gentleman, Sirius, I will gladly marry Potter," Lily vowed.

"I'll be sure to let him know then to start planning your wedding—not that he hasn't started already."

"Luckily for me, I doubt the day will ever come that you are a gentleman, Sirius," Remus acknowledged with a smile.

"You two underestimate me," Sirius complained as he pouted.

"Prove it," Lily dared him.

"If I feel like it, I will."

"Who's your next prospect, out of curiosity?" Lily questioned. Sirius grinned mischievously.

"Remember how you mentioned that girl earlier, Remus? The one who you said seems to be head over heels for me?"

"Sarah?" Remus asked hesitantly.

"Yes, that's the one. Well, see, I figured after I was done with Constance, who proved to be more of a challenge than usual, I could use a rather easy one to have a go at."

"Sirius," Remus began to admonish, "Sarah really likes you. It's not fair to play around with her emotions like that."

"What! She likes me, she'll be thrilled to have her turn with me!"

"You make yourself sound like an amusement ride," Lily pointed out disapprovingly.

"Well, I am one heck of a roller coaster," Sirius replied with a wink.

"That didn't even make sense you idiot," Lily replied with a roll of her eyes.

"You get my point."

"Class, class, if you would be so kind as to grant me an actual moment of your attention, I'd be ever so pleased," a jovial looking man with thick, straw-colored hair announced from the front of the class. The whole of the class turned to face him reluctantly.

"I've been asked to discuss some of the recent occurrences with you all," the man explained, in an almost cheerful manner.

"Professor Slughorn, I heard there's some sort of dark leader behind all the current murders," a red-haired student called out from the back of the class. "Is it true? Who could be that powerful?" The professor's cheeks seemed to gain a tinge of red as he looked at the student for a moment before smiling weakly.

"I'm sure I have no idea," Slughorn concluded with a nervous laugh. "But worry not," he continued waving his hand dismissively through the air. "I'm sure that it's all just a bunch of hoodlums who got carried away with a bit of power."

"But, Professor," Remus began with concern, "they've already killed so many people and caused so much terror. What's more, I heard they're getting even more organized in their efforts. It seems that a never-ending amount of people are turning to the dark side. Shouldn't we be at all concerned?" Professor Slughorn looked at Remus disapprovingly as he shook his head.

"Now, Mr. Lupin, let's not get carried away with ourselves. I'm sure everything will be fine in a bit. We've got a lot of people in the Ministry working on this."

"Yes, but, they haven't got many leads it seems. No one even knows who their leader could be. They just know he appears to be extremely powerful," James chimed in as he ran a hand apprehensively through his unkempt black hair.

"Mr. Potter, please, I think I'd know if there was any real danger. I'm very well-informed of these things," Slughorn scolded him. "Now then," he continued with an air of nonchalance, "I think I've said enough. Be careful and all that. I wouldn't want to lose any of my students to this temporarily dangerous situation. Let's get back to potions then, shall we?" Remus and James exchanged irritated looks as the Professor began to prattle on about some potion of little importance in the grand scheme of things. Meanwhile, the Gryffindor students couldn't help but notice that the Slytherins in class were exchanging rather pleased looks with each other.

"That was absolutely ridiculous," James declared in frustration after class had ended and they were safely out the door. "Clearly there's a very large problem at hand here, and clearly the Slytherins, stupid prejudiced gits that they are, are very pleased with the whole of it."

"I would say they likely have something to do with it," Remus mused.

"Or at least their parents, of course," Lily added.

"We're all in danger. Maybe not us—Hogwarts is fairly safe—but certainly our families!" James declared rather indignantly. "How can he deny that? Things have only gotten much worse the past few weeks!"

"You know how Slughorn is, he's always in denial that there could be anything wrong with the world as long as an overabundance of rich chocolates are available to him," Sirius added in as he caught up with the rest of his friends.

"I don't think there's anything to worry about," Peter muttered sullenly.

"Stuff it, Pettigrew," James shot back authoritatively. "There's something wrong here." Peter cast his eyes to the floor resentfully.

"Dumbledore will know, of course," Remus pointed out thoughtfully. "I just hope our families stay safe."

"Yes, and us," James stated as he glanced anxiously at Lily.

"Well, let's all calm down a bit and go get some work done," Remus suggested. "There's nothing we can do about it right now. We'll need to find out more information." James's whole body was still tensed in anger, but he allowed his shoulders to relax a bit as he thought this over.

"I suppose you're right, Remus. Alright, let's go work on our charms assignment."

"We'll catch up in a few minutes. You three go ahead," he stated as he nodded at James, Sirius, and Peter. He then turned to Lily who looked rather shaken by their conversation. "Do you want to go take a quick trip down to the lake and talk a bit? Get a chance to relax, maybe?" Lily nodded silently. Remus placed his arm protectively around Lily's shoulders. Her big green eyes looked at him gratefully as they walked away together. James bit his lip, a mixture of sorrow and resentment marked clearly on his face.

"She'll be alright, mate," Sirius said softly. "He'll take good care of her."

"I want her safe," James declared urgently. "I want her safe, and I want to be the one to protect her." Sirius sighed as he shifted his books and quills from one arm to another.

"James," he began hesitantly. "Maybe it's time to give it a go with another girl. You've been hung up on Evans for so long—"

"I don't want any other girl," James stated stubbornly as he folded his arms across his chest. "I want Lily." Sirius heaved a deep sigh once more.

"You should tell her Remus is a werewolf," Peter chimed in. "That might help. Then she might drop him."

"She doesn't know?" James asked, suddenly alarmed. "I thought he told her. He should tell her!"

"I'm sure he will in time," Sirius responded quietly, trying to calm James.

"It's a dangerous situation, Padfoot! She should already know!"

"Prongs, please! I'm sure he'd never put her in danger." James's eyes flashed with rage as he furrowed his brows together. "It's not up to you," Sirius added softly. "It's his business and his decision."

"She needs to know," James stated resolutely.

"And she will eventually."

Remus kept his arm around Lily's shoulders as they sat at the edge of the lake. The water shone brightly in the mid-morning sun. Little ripples formed in various places as mermaids, grindylows, and an assortment of other creatures swam beneath the unsettled surface.

"Are you alright, Lily?" Remus asked as he stared at her intently, worry apparent in his eyes.

"I'm worried, Remus," she admitted quietly, not meeting his gaze. "Look at all these awful things happening all around us. What if one of our families is next? What if one of us is next?" Remus raised his free hand to stroke Lily's vibrant red hair tenderly.

"Lily, don't worry," Remus whispered. "I'm here for you. I'll protect you." Lily allowed herself to smile softly at him. She caught his hand in her own and squeezed it gently.

"Thanks," she replied as she gazed into his eyes. She felt protected, as though nothing could harm her. She leaned in towards Remus more closely as the morning breeze danced gently on her face.

"I won't let anything happen to you, I promise," Remus vowed as he drew Lily into an embrace. Lily allowed herself to be held for a few moments but then pulled away to meet his gaze. Remus placed a hand gently beneath Lily's chin and tilted her head upwards. Lily closed her eyes expectantly as Remus placed his lips softly on her own. Lily's heart quickened at his touch and all thoughts of danger flew from her mind immediately. She was safe, she was cared for, and in that moment, that was all that mattered.

"I love you," she whispered as he ended their first kiss. She hadn't meant to let those words escape her, but she'd been so overcome with sudden affection for Remus that she couldn't keep the feeling trapped inside her. A grin exploded onto Remus's lips as his eyes lit up with delight.

"I love you, too, Lily," he responded as he leaned in to kiss her once more. Lily's stomach fluttered a bit. She was glad they had waited to kiss, despite all the scrutiny, until such a perfect moment.


	6. Chapter 6

_A/N: Again, thank you so much to all of you who are reading and an extra thanks to those of you who are taking the time to review. I really, really appreciate it! Kate Karson, thanks so much for reading all this time. You're awesome! And I have no idea what Lily's parents were named…hmm…I wonder what they were. Thank you to Sara and Phantom as well!_

**Chapter 6:**

"You're doing it wrong, Remus," Lily reprimanded as she scratched out his answer with her quill and began to scribble above it.

"I knew you'd correct it for me, that's why," Remus responded with a warm smile.

"You're awful," she returned as she leaned in to kiss him quickly before continuing to fix his homework.

"You two are enough to make me projectile vomit all of the food I've consumed in the past three weeks," James offered with a disgusted look.

"They're just the model couple of Hogwarts," Sirius stated with a smile. "Everyone wants to be them, but no one can reach their unattainable standard."

"Bugger off," Lily shot at Sirius from the table. "We're no one's model couple, idiot."

"You only wish you weren't, Lily, but everyone's been looking at the two of you with adoring eyes for weeks now," Sirius explained.

"Shall we go for a walk after dinner tonight?" Lily ignored Sirius and looked intently at Remus. Remus looked around uncomfortably, avoiding Lily's eyes.

"I—uh—I'll have a lot of homework to do," Remus said, stumbling over his words.

"Well, I can help you. I don't mind at all."

"No, I—I—uh—I think it might better if I worked on it alone. I might learn more that way," Remus said as he scratched his head in a nervous manner.

"Remus, what are you on about? We always do our homework together," Lily returned, hurt edging into her voice. Her eyebrows knit themselves together with worry.

"I just—this is a really hard assignment," Remus finally stated. He got up without another word, gathered his books and parchment, shot an apologetic look at Lily, and then made his way up the stairs towards the dormitories.

"What did I do wrong?" Lily turned to look at James and Sirius. James's face was twisted in rage, but Sirius merely shrugged and smiled.

"You know Remus, he's an odd sort of fellow. Not quite right in the head," Sirius suggested with a chuckle. Lily frowned slightly, deep in thought.

"I hope I haven't done anything to offend him," she said after a while.

"No, Lily. _You've _done nothing wrong," James stated firmly. Lily glanced at him questioningly.

"What?"

"Nothing, just forget it," James snapped before getting up and following Remus up the stairs. Lily looked utterly confused and very hurt at this point. She looked to Sirius for comfort, but she merely got a shrug in response.

"There must be something in the air today," Sirius offered.

"Is it that time of the month for you, Moony?" James spat out accusingly as he slammed their dormitory door behind him. Remus turned to face James, a look of shame apparent on his face. "You still haven't told her, have you?"

"James, I meant to, I just couldn't," Remus responded in a pleading tone.

"She's going to be so worried about you," James declared angrily while shaking his head. "You've managed to avoid problems in the past, but she's really starting to wonder why you disappear once a month. Especially as you two become closer."

"I know, I know, I feel awful." Remus lowered his eyes to the floor and stared steadily at it.

"You need to tell her, Remus."

"I will, I will eventually. It's just so hard," Remus replied dejectedly. James's hardened demeanor did not diminish as Remus looked at him desperately for reassurance.

"You're being awful to her," James said simply. "She deserves better." Remus's eyes were rimmed with tears at this point. He turned away and began to throw some of his belongings into a bag in preparation for his monthly trip to the shrieking shack. James sat on his bed and pursed his lips, caught between resentment, anger, and sympathy for his friend. He glanced out the window for a moment and saw the sun was slowly dipping below the horizon Remus followed his gaze and he hurried his attempts to pack. He finally closed his bag and turned to look at James, guilt creasing his forehead.

"I've got to go. You'll meet me down there later?" Remus looked at James expectantly, hoping desperately for confirmation.

"Of course," James replied. "I'd never leave you alone at a time like that." Remus nodded gratefully before slipping out the door and down the stairs noiselessly.

"Remus!" Lily looked devastated as Remus hurried past where she was sitting without acknowledging her. Tears welled up in her eyes as Sirius looked on uncomfortably.

"There, there," Sirius said awkwardly as he patted Lily on the back. Lily rose to her feet and hurried out through the portrait hole, tears beginning to trickle down her flushed cheeks. "That's right, you go have a good cry," Sirius called out after her as she departed. He shrugged to himself and turned back to his parchment as the room fell silent.

Lily ran down the hall. She needed to be alone, to think, to convince herself that there was nothing wrong with herself that was making Remus act so strangely. With a great sigh she decided the best place for this would be by the lake, though she hated to go to a place that reminded her so much of the very person she was trying to escape currently. She slowed her pace to a hurried walk and made her way towards the grounds. As soon as the cold air hit her, she'd wished that she'd brought a heavier cloak to cover herself with. She shivered violently as she approached the lake. On the way, however, her eyes were drawn towards a shadowy figure headed rapidly towards the Whomping Willow.

"Wait," she called out after the figure. "Stop, you'll hurt yourself!" She began to run after the mysterious person, but much to her dismay the Whomping Willow somehow froze momentarily, allowing the person access to it. The person disappeared quickly beneath the roots of the tree and its branches once again began to swing violently before settling down to a rather gentle occasional swaying.

"But how?" Lily pondered aloud as she carefully approached the tree. She heard footsteps sounding behind her suddenly and she turned to examine who they belonged to. She squinted in the dim lighting of dusk. She made out three figures walking together in her direction. Lily ducked down and crept slowly towards another tree, which she concealed herself behind.

"He still hasn't told her, I can't believe it," a voice echoed out angrily in the twilight.

"Calm down, Prongs," came another voice.

"What does it matter anyway?" A third voice chimed in.

"Stuff it, Wormtail." Lily tilted her head to see who the owners of these familiar sounding voices were.

"James," she gasped suddenly, recognizing his trademark mess of hair. Her eyes moved to the other boys and she immediately recognized Sirius's long, dark shaggy hair and Peter's rounded figure. The three boys came to the tree in the exact way that the previous person had and Lily watched as they touched a knot located on the trunk of the tree. Just as it had before, the Whomping Willow suddenly ceased to move. The three Marauders slipped through a hole in the ground, arguing all the while. Lily scrambled out from her hiding place and began to run towards the tree. However, as soon as she reached the edge of it, it began to swing at her wildly. She backed up quickly and sat on the ground for a moment to catch her breath and absorb everything that she'd just observed.

"What are they up to?" Lily pondered aloud with a frown. Making a conscious decision to find out, she dropped down to her hands and knees and kept low to the ground as she began to crawl towards the trunk of the tree. She reached out her wand to touch the same knot she'd seen everyone tap and was shocked to find that the tree ceased it's swaying. With a triumphant smile she slipped beneath the tree through the roots and found herself in a dark, muddy tunnel which smelled of decomposing leaves. Lily drew in a deep breath before she scrambled to her feet and lit her wand quietly while whispering, "Lumos."

Having no light to guide her steps, she stumbled over unearthed roots several times as she tried to travel through the passage. After what seemed like an eternity, and after she was very well decorated with splotches of damp soil, Lily finally spotted a few shafts of moonlight shining down through an opening. She heaved a sigh of relief as she struggled to pull herself up through the hole. Lily looked around, still in a daze from the whole experience. She found herself in a small, dusty room with well-worn floorboards and furniture covered in sheets. Anxiety overtook her as she realized she was alone in unfamiliar surroundings. Suddenly she heard an animal-like howl from what appeared to be very near by. Lily began to shiver slightly as she rose from the floor and approached the noise she'd just heard, fearing what she'd find.

"You're an idiot," she heard James's voice call out condescendingly. "Don't let him out of this room. Last time he nearly destroyed the entire house."

"That wasn't my fault," Peter's squeaky voice insisted adamantly.

"Of course it was," Sirius piped in. Lily drew nearer to the door from behind which their voices seemed to be coming.

"No, it wasn't," Peter insisted childishly. Lily put her ear against the door, her curiosity piqued. She heard a guttural growl and what sounded like claws on the wooden floorboards. Slowly, she began to lean against the door, attempting to turn the knob noiselessly. She was convinced they were up to no good, and of course as Head Girl, she felt the responsibility to make sure what they were doing was at least not illegal. The door gave way beneath her weight and she eased it open gently, allowing herself to peer into the room.

Lily gasped at the sight that met her brilliant green eyes. Her eyes moved directly towards the ground where her gaze was intercepted by a large, shaggy black dog, a tiny little rat with pointed teeth, a noble-looking stag, and what appeared to be a wolf-like creature. What Lily couldn't understand was how these creatures possessed the voices of the Marauders. She listened a bit longer as they chatted among themselves. All but the wolf were speaking in turn, bantering back and forth. The wolf stood still, a chilling look in its bright eyes which scanned the room eagerly. A few times the wolf lowered itself to the ground, looking as though it were about to pounce, but the stag would charge it readily and throw its weight against the wolf before it could spring into action.

Lily could not tear her eyes from the wolf as there was something almost human-like about it. She gazed at it in wonder until finally the wolf seemed to catch her eye. Its lips pulled back into a snarl, exposing its teeth and a low growl escaped it. Lily's breath caught in her chest as the wolf set its sights on her. The stag was distracted, arguing with the rat, and the wolf began to sneak around it slowly, as though stalking its prey. Suddenly the wolf-like creature broke out into a full run and headed directly towards Lily. A blood-curdling scream escaped Lily's lips as she tried desperately to get out of the creature's path. The stag turned suddenly to see the wolf as it threw itself on top of Lily and immediately pinned her down with its powerful paws.

"No! Moony, don't!" The stag called out desperately, extreme urgency in his voice. He immediately leapt into action and ran towards Lily. "Moony, stop! You don't know what you're doing! That's Lily! Stop!" The rat scurried hurriedly in the opposite direction, but the large, shaggy dog also jumped into action. The stag and dog struggled to get the wolf off of Lily, throwing themselves against the creature and yelling at him fiercely. Lily's gaze met the stag's eyes for a moment, and in that moment she saw a look of such concern that she froze, no longer able to fight against the wolf.

"Lily, keep fighting him off!" The stag encouraged her with James's voice.

"James?" The stag looked at her for only a moment, but Lily recognized those eyes, that look. "James!" The room suddenly grew dark as a large patch of clouds passed over the bright moon. The wolf creature suddenly fell to the ground, gasping in pain. Tears were streaming down Lily's face at this point, her breaths coming raggedly. The wolf began to convulse on the ground, shrieking in pain.

"James, what's going on?" The stag transformed suddenly before her eyes into the human form of James, which she knew all too well. Lily began to sob violently as the dog also transformed into its human form. Sirius's large eyes were staring at her in the next moment. James rushed to her immediately and threw his arms around her protectively.

"Lily, Lily, it's alright. It's okay. You're safe now," James said soothingly, his eyes full of fear.

"What—what is that?" Lily pointed to the mass of fur on the floor which continued to quiver and howl in pain. The room grew completely dark except for a bit of soft light emanating from a lit candle. The furry mass suddenly transformed into a very tired-looking brown-haired boy. Lily swept over the figure with her eyes. She gasped in disbelief.

"Remus?" The boy rubbed his eyes in confusion and looked about the room, taking in the scene. His eyes finally landed on Lily, who looked absolutely devastated.

"Lily?" Remus appeared extremely dazed. He shook his head in disbelief as he stared at her, still wrapped in James's arms. "What happened?" Remus looked to Sirius and James for answers, but they both remained silent. "Did I hurt Lily?" His eyes suddenly opened wide with alarm. Lily continued crying silently, she could not stop the sobs that wracked her body.

"You tried," James replied quietly. Remus bit his lip and looked away from Lily's tear-stained cheeks. His face betrayed a look of utter self-loathing. He shook his head and then turned back towards Lily. Slowly, Remus approached and made a motion to hug her and comfort her. Lily drew away immediately without even consciously meaning to. Remus winced as he began to feel the pressure of hot tears building up behind his eyes.

"Lily, I'm so sorry I didn't tell you. I'm so, so sorry," he explained softly. "I hate myself for this—more than you'll ever know." Lily could not bring herself to make eye contact with Remus. She cowered in fright and buried her head in James's shoulder, refusing to believe all that had just occurred—all she'd just discovered. She felt so betrayed she could barely grasp it. Remus sighed deeply as he watched Lily shake with trepidation in the arms of his best friend.

"Lily, listen to me. Please leave before the clouds disappear. Leave before I transform again," Remus begged. "I don't want to hurt you, Lily. Please. I love you," Remus continued, his eyes filled with sorrow and despair.

"He's right, Lily. Let's get you out of here," James stated authoritatively as he helped her to her feet while still covering her protectively with his arms. Lily continued to lean on James with her full weight as he led her back towards the opening she'd come from originally. Remus followed behind them with a heartsick look etched clearly on his face. He took Lily's hand, though she shuttered at his touch.

"Lily, I'm so sorry," he repeated, his brows knit together with concern. "I should have told you." Lily could do nothing but nod in agreement as she tried to choke back her tears.

"Why didn't you trust me?" Lily's voice was wrought with emotion. She shook her head, her heart torn with betrayal. Remus stood speechless before her, unable to explain away his treachery. "I love you so much, Remus. You should have trusted me." Lily turned away and continued towards the tunnel which would lead her back towards Hogwarts.

"I'm sorry," Remus whispered, his voice choked with tears. The clouds slowly began to clear away from the moon as the light within the small house intensified. He groaned in pain and fell to the floor as he once again began his transformation.

"Run! Now!" James commanded Lily as he grabbed her arm urgently and began to pull her after him down the passage.

The pair of them ran as fast as their aching legs would carry them down the dimly-lit tunnel until they could no longer breathe deeply enough to continue their pace. Lily stopped and fell against the wall, gasping for breath.

"How could he, James? How could he?" Lily demanded, a mixture of hurt and anger easily discernible in her voice. James remained silent for a moment, a stoic look upon his face.

"I don't know," he replied, finally breaking the silence. "I don't know, because I could never ever hurt you like that, Lily. He owed you the truth," James stated with conviction.

"I would have understood," Lily returned, her lower lip quivering. "I'd have understood."

"I know you would have," James said simply. He did the only thing he could think to do to bring her comfort—he swept her into a hug and held her in his arms for a moment, hoping to soothe her heart. Lily pulled away after a moment.

"Thanks," she whispered, a few tears escaping down her cheeks.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7:**

Lily woke up the next morning with a start, her hair still matted with a combination of dirt and tears from the previous evening. She'd had another nightmare—the same she'd been having all night—about Remus attacking her.

"Lily, my goodness, you look awful! Where did you disappear to last night? Azkaban?" Lily lifted her gaze upwards to find Alice's large grey eyes staring at her from above her bed with concern. Lily turned over in bed and let out a groan. "What's wrong with you?" Lily just grunted simplistically in return.

"I see," Alice mused aloud. "Would you like to elaborate any further?"

"No," Lily responded simply. "But if you see Remus, give him a good slap upside the head." Alice raised her brows questioningly.

"Will do," Alice replied. "But—uhh—why?" Lily issued forth another groan and pulled the bed sheets over her head.

"Doesn't matter. Just do it," Lily said from beneath her covers.

"Alright," Alice promised, finally giving up on getting any real information out of Lily. Their dormitory door was suddenly flung open as an annoyingly perky girl bounced inside.

"Good morning!" There was a long pause followed by a gasp. "Lily, for Merlin's sake! Put on some makeup, would you? You look even more hideous than my grandmother does when she wakes up first thing in the morning!"

"Shut it, Constance," Lily retorted as she rose from her bed and headed towards the door.

"Someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed," Constance shot back with a sneer. "I just came to tell you that Remus is looking for you." Lily turned back towards her bed and plopped herself down on it, engulfing herself in covers once more.

"You can't hide under there for the rest of your life," Alice said soothingly as she tried to pull the covers from Lily's grasp.

"I can," Lily insisted stubbornly.

"Go see Remus. I'm sure you two can work out the little spat you had."

"Not little—big," Lily replied childishly.

"Just talk to him," her friend reasoned. Lily sat up on her bed and pouted for a moment and then looked thoughtful.

"Fine, but I'm not going to like it," she declared with resolve as she made her way towards the door once more.

"Lily!" Constance shrieked with alarm.

"What?" Lily asked, looking around for a raging fire, a dead body, or something else that would induce such a distraught tone.

"At the very least comb your hair and put on some lipstick!" Lily stared at her with disbelief for a moment before continuing out the door, purposefully not bothering to look in a mirror.

"What is wrong with her!" Constance directed this towards Alice, as she was the only one left in the room. Alice shrugged before following Lily down the stairs.

Lily quickly combed her fingers through her hair as she hurried down the stairs towards the Common Room. She didn't want to look a complete mess for Remus as she was technically supposed to be his partner in a romantic relationship. Though, of course there was the tiniest glitch that he happened to be a werewolf.

"Lily," came Remus's voice from by the fireplace as soon as she'd entered the room. The Common Room was deserted as it was breakfast time. She allowed her eyes to glance in his general direction and found his eyes full of concern and regret.

"Hello," she replied rather coldly as she stood staring at him with her arms crossed in front of her. "Was there something you were planning on telling me?" She tapped her foot on the floor impatiently and glared at him.

"Lily, I'm so sorry! I was going to tell you, but I didn't want to scare you away. I just," Remus paused for a moment and bit his lip apprehensively. "I didn't want to lose you, Lily. And who could possibly care for a werewolf?" Anger suddenly welled up deep within Lily. She pursed her lips crossly as all her muscles tensed.

"iI/i would care!" Lily announced this heatedly and shot him a pointed look. "I would care because I ilove/i you! I love all of you no matter what!" She was practically screaming at Remus at this point, tears beginning to collect within her eyes. But Lily couldn't shed any of these tears, because she was too angry, too frustrated, and too betrayed.

"I'm so sorry, Lily," Remus repeated in a whisper. "You're right, I should have told you. But I didn't want to. Things were going so perfectly and I was being selfish. I didn't want to deal with my own problems, because I knew they'd have a negative effect on our relationship. I never should even have brought you into all this," Remus said remorsefully, shaking his head in shame.

"You're an idiot," Lily replied. "This is what people do when they care for each other. They work out problems."

"This is a little more than a slight problem, Lily. This is a major issue. I cannot have you in danger like that ever again," Remus told her solemnly. "I was being completely irresponsible, and you almost got seriously hurt because of it."

"Nothing happened," Lily pointed out stubbornly. "I'm fine, but you still should have told me! You should have trusted that I care enough about you that it wouldn't have mattered!"

"It matters to me!" Remus was shouting now, clearly frustrated. "Lily, if something had happened to you—if—if I'd hurt you," Remus's voice began to waver with emotion. "I couldn't live with myself, Lily. I just couldn't." He jumped up and wrapped Lily in his arms, suddenly overcome with emotion. He held her there firmly for a moment and then pulled away.

"But I'm fine," Lily insisted. "You didn't hurt me."

"Only because James and Sirius were there to save you," Remus responded ruefully. "I'd have injured you for certain if not killed you." His eyes shone with regret as he gazed at Lily.

"I'm alright," Lily whispered gently as she lifted her lips to his and kissed him reassuringly. Remus let her lips linger there for a moment before pulling away and taking a step back.

"We can't," he said quietly. "I can't ever do that to you again, Lily."

"Remus, no," Lily pleaded trying to make him look into her eyes. "Don't do this to me. I can't lose you. I don't care that you're a werewolf! You should have told me, but I don't care!"

"Lily, I just can't," Remus replied, a tear sliding down his cheek. "It's not fair to you."

"You're right, Remus! This isn't fair to me! I've done nothing wrong!" Lily was frantic at this point, trying desperately to cling to what had been so wonderful just yesterday.

"Of course you haven't, Lily. I'm the one that's been wrong."

"Remus, you can't help that you're a werewolf," Lily pointed out frantically.

"You're right, Lily, but I can help what happens to you because of my condition."

"I'll learn how to be an animagus, too," Lily offered, tears streaming down her own cheeks now. "Please, I know you love me. Don't do this. Let me be there for you." Remus raised his hand to wipe a few stray tears away, still avoiding Lily's eyes. He took in a deep breath and then looked into her startlingly emerald eyes.

"I'll always love you, Lily Evans. Always," he uttered almost inaudibly.

"Then I just don't understand," Lily shot back at him, sniffling loudly. Remus placed his hand on her shoulder as though to comfort her, but she simply shrugged it off and turned to run out of the portrait hole and as far away from the source of her pain as she possibly could.

Remus stood silently by the fire, watching as she ran from him. Tears flowed more readily down his cheeks as he allowed himself to cry over all that he'd just lost—over the future that he could have had.

"I could have been happy," Remus muttered to himself bitterly. "iWe/i could have been happy. But I've no right to be selfish, and she deserves better," he concluded to himself. He sat down on the hearth and held his head in his hands not wanting to think about all that he'd just given up.

"Remus," a voice called gently. He looked up suddenly from where he sat to see Alice staring back at him grimly. "I'm sorry."

"I wanted to marry her, you know," Remus admitted dejectedly. "We were going to have two children and live in an old, brick house with a huge backyard." Alice sat down at his side and patted his back sympathetically.

"I know she means the world to you, but at least you know this way she'll be safe," Alice consoled him.

"Yes," Remus confessed, "but it doesn't matter. My heart will always belong to her."

"I know," Alice replied tenderly. "I know."

Lily walked as rapidly as she could down the hallway, keeping her eyes on the ground so no passersby would see the tears streaming from her eyes. Before she'd gotten very far from the portrait hole she ran into something very solid and fell to the hard stone ground abruptly. Not wanting to look up she stayed on the floor in a heap, hiding her face in her arms.

"Lily," a masculine voice coaxed her compassionately. The boy knelt on the floor beside her, wrapped her in his arms and lifted her to a sitting position slowly. She continued to bury her face in her arms, refusing to look up. "Lily, please look at me." With a deep, shuttering sigh, Lily lifted her head slowly and saw James's concerned look directed at her.

"He broke up with me," Lily whimpered, tears still trickling down her cheeks. "I didn't care that he's a werewolf," she added defensively.

"I know, Lily, I know," James replied soothingly, placing a hand on her shoulder. "I'm so sorry." Lily cried harder still and finally buried her head in James's shoulder. James wrapped his arms around her instinctively and cradled her consolingly, whispering words of comfort to her.

"I wanted to be with him," Lily whispered into his shoulder. James cringed inwardly as these words struck his heart.

"You love him very much, don't you?" James bit his lip and closed his eyes, bracing himself for her response.

"More than he'll ever know now," Lily admitted softly, tears still trailing down her cheeks.

"He's not worth your time then," James reassured her, rubbing her back gently.

"We both know that's not true," she replied with a sigh, burying her head further into James's shoulder.

"Well, he may be a good guy," James admitted, "but he made the biggest mistake of his life by giving you up." Lily lifted her head for a moment to meet James's eyes.

"Do you really mean that?" Her round emerald eyes gazed at him hopefully.

"Of course I do, Lily. I mean it whole-heartedly. He's an idiot to give you up," James declared with conviction. "If I ever was lucky enough to win your heart over I'd never do anything to muddle that up. I'd be a saint." James sighed deeply as he held Lily in his arms. Lily gazed into James's eyes for a moment and then shrank back suddenly, releasing herself from James's arms. She was frightened by the deep emotion she'd seen there and was in no state to be able to deal with it rationally. "I'm sorry, I've said too much. Forget I said anything. Just know Remus is a stupid git." Lily nodded slowly as she scrambled to her feet and wiped her tears away with her hands hurriedly.

"I'm going to go talk to Alice," Lily explained awkwardly as she started backing away from James.

"Lily, please," James pleaded as he got to his feet and began to chase after her.

"I'll talk to you later, Potter," she returned as she walked swiftly in the opposite direction.

"Lily, wait—" James began, but seeing it was useless he gave up with a deep sigh and slumped against the stone wall dejectedly.


End file.
